Just an illusion. | Jaythan AU | co-written with @chasing_TW

Chapter sixteen

Chapter sixteen.

Nathan thought about how cute Jay looked when he ran. His curly hair flopped around and his arms would fling around in every direction. Jay wasn't graceful at all; in fact, he looked rather awkward running at full speed.

As soon as Nathan got him and Jay visitor's passes, Nathan led Jay to Max's room. Jay was bursting with energy. Nathan wondered if Jay expected to see Max awake. He knew he wouldn't be, but he didn't want to ruin Jay's hope.

Once they got to his room Jay froze.

"What's wrong, Jay?"

"What if Max doesn't want to see me? I caused everything. What if he hates me?" Jay looked like he wanted to cry.

"Aw, no. Max doesn't hate you. And he'd love to see you, trust me. Jay don't worry", Nathan said. Jay nodded, and as quickly as he had frozen the smile on his face was back.

Jay walked past Nathan and ran into Max's room. Of course, Max was still in his coma, with tubes and machines connected everywhere. Jay's smile faded again. He slowly made his way to Max's side. He ran his fingers softly up Max's arm, until he reached Max's face. He stroked his cheek as he started to cry uncontrollably.

Nathan quickly pulled Jay into his arms and Jay cried hysterically into his shoulder. Nathan's heart broke several times over.

He knew this visit wouldn't be easy on Jay's mind. If anything, it could make it worse.

"Calm down, Jay. Everything will be okay."

"You don't know that! This is all my fault! Now Max will never wake up!"

"No, Jay, it isn't. It's Tom's fault and only Tom's fault."

"Nathan, I miss Max..." Jay's sobbing became hiccups. Nathan himself felt tears coming into his eyes. How could this beautiful human blame all this on himself?

Jay pulled away and looked up. He looked down at Max and knelt by his side. He held Max's hand and ran the pad of his thumb back and forth across it.

"Max, I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry this happened to you. Max you need to come back. I need you. I love you Max. I know I'm not okay, but that's part of why I need you. Nothing makes sense to me right now. I don't even know where you are. I just know you're not here. That scares me. A lot, Maxie."

Nathan wrapped his arms around his true love and held him close. This boy, no matter how mental he is, was all Nathan cared about and lived for. He would be there with him until Jay's last breath.

He realised how close he really came to losing him. He couldn't bear to lose Jay. He would just cease to exist. What would he do without this boy?

"Max?" Jay said. Nathan looked up and saw nothing.

"Max! There you are! Why won't you come into your body?" Jay asked what he thought was Max. In truth, there was nothing there. Max wasn't there. Jay was seeing an illusion.

"Max talk to me!" Jay shouted.

"Jay, there's no one there", Nathan said gently. Jay seemed confused.

"Yes there is. Max is right there. Can't you see him?"

"No, Jay. I'm sorry", Nathan said softly. He didn't want Jay to be hurt. Jay looked down as he realised it was an illusion. Max wasn't there. Max wouldn't be there for a long time. That's what Jay feared the most.

Jay didn't speak a word for the rest of the 40 minutes he was in Max's room. Nathan only stood by the corner and watched. That was all he could do. When the nurse came in to let Jay and Nathan know visiting hours were over, both left without saying a word.