Just an illusion. | Jaythan AU | co-written with @chasing_TW

Chapter thirty three

Chapter thirty three

Jay sat at his window seat, looking out into his back garden. It was nearly 4 in the afternoon and Jay had been sat there ever since getting back from uni,not speaking not even Nathan could get Jay to speak.

"Jay..." Nathan hopelessly tried to get Jay's attention but his voice wasn't heard over the sound of the rain pelting the windows.

Nathan was confused, he didn't know why Jay was like this Jay was fine this morning. Nathan didn't understand Jay's sudden mood change.

"Jay, what's wrong?" Nathan tried again, but this time much louder.

Jay sighed, he had heard what Nathan had said, Jay desperately wanted to tell Nathan what was wrong but he was worried Nathan would get mad.

Jay cleared his throat before speaking, "if I tell you, don't get mad please?"

Nathan nervously laughed, "why would I get mad? I would never get mad at you!"

Jay still stared at the window, afraid to look Nathan in the eye.

"Will you ever leave me?"

Nathan walked over to Jay and grabbed his hand and kissed it, "Jay I love you okay, and I need you to know that if I ever did leave you it wasn't intentionally because if I had a choice I would stay with you forever."

"Is that what's been bothering you?" Nathan added.

Jay nodded, "yeah, I heard you and Max talking outside at Tom's wake. I followed you and I know that's wrong but I needed to know what was so important that I couldn't hear and I will never do it again promise"

Nathan bit his lip and wiped away the tears that fell down Jay's cheek.

"Max was being mean to you and I didn't like it Nathan, I wanted to do something but I couldn't." Jay continued.

"Hey, it's okay he was just making sure if something happens then you are safe because that's all me and Max care about"

Jay sobbed and turned round and hugged Nathan, "please don't leave me."

"I'm still here aren't I?" Nathan was nearly crying, he knew that one day he would have to leave Jay and he wished that he wouldn't be having this conversation with Jay.

Nathan wiped away his tears and took in a deep breath, "How about we go out? just us two, take your mind off it okay?" 

Jay smiled and nodded, at the sound of Nathan taking Jay out and just being the two of them made Jay forget almost immediately. Nathan watched Jay's demeanour take a complete 180 from being sad to being happy at the mention of Nathan taking Jay out. Once Jay was ready the two boys walked out to Nathan's car well Jay didn't walk he was skipping with excitement, which made Nathan laugh. 

"Were are you taking me?" Jay asked Nathan with a massive grin on his face. 

Nathan smiled and shook his head, "Ice skating"

"Ice skating? but i've never been!" 

"I know" Nathan told Jay as he turned right off the motorway, "but you want to go, I remember you telling me a few days after we first met" 

When Jay and Nathan had reached the ice skating arena, Jay was out of the car as soon as Nathan had parked the car. When they finally reached inside which Jay thought had taken ages because Nathan was walking too slow, they paid the fee which was £10 for an hour and half, they told the woman at the counter their shoe size and swapped their shoes for the ice skates. 

"Will you make sure I don't fall?" Jay asked Nathan, as he held on for dear life on the edge. 

"If you do fall" Nathan took Jay's hands in his, "I'll go down with you"

~*~*~

"That was fun!" Jay announced after their session on the ice had finished. 

Jay had only fell over twice and thanks to Nathan teaching him Jay could skate without holding onto to the sides or Nathan but he was still a little wobbly on his legs, but as Nathan told Jay practise makes perfect. 

"Yeah it was" Nathan smiled at Jay as he finished tying his laces on his shoes. 

"Can we do that again some time? I really want to learn how to skate"

Nathan nodded, "Yes, sure"

Nathan looked up and noticed Tom standing in front of him, Tom mouths the words 'follow me' before he turns and starts walking outside. 

"Jay will you be okay here for a minute?" Nathan asked slowly standing up and starting to follow Tom. 

"Where are you going?"

Nathan didn't answer instead he just told Jay that he would be back in a minute.

"Tom!" Nathan shouted after Tom once he reached outside and no one was around. 

"I need to tell you something" Tom spoke almost robotically, "It concerns you and Jay"

Nathan hoped that it wasn't as bad as it sounded, but it was probably just as bad. 

Nathan gulped, "what is it?" 

When Tom didn't answer, Nathan persisted "C'mon then! spit it out!" 

"God is upset, you were sent down here to help Jay get back on his feet and to protect him and you fell in love with him which you know is certainly not allowed, so in the next couple of days if you want to stay with Jay you have to stop loving him"

"and if I don't?" 

Tom frowned, "They remove you, without letting you say goodbye to Jay and you will never see him again"