Just an illusion. | Jaythan AU | co-written with @chasing_TW

Chapter twenty four

Chapter twenty four.

By the time Jay and Nathan returned to Jay's house, Jay found himself already missing Tom. It wasn't the same kind of missing he felt for Max and Nathan when they weren't around, but it was more than he should feel, especially considering what Tom had done to him. Jay felt the sudden urge to turn back around and sit beside Tom until he healed and was ready to return home. Jay hadn't realised how those emotions had been growing over time. He just thought that it was a simple understanding between the two.

Jay pondered this as he sat in his room. Nathan was downstairs making him a cuppa. He really needed it right about then. Jay tried to keep calm, but as he waited alone surrounded by those four walls, a hysteria began to take him over. He wanted to tell someone so desperately about what Tom had done to him, and about these feelings that were taking him over despite Tom's actions. But he could tell no one, and the secrecy was driving him mental.

Without warning, Jay picked up the table lamp he had on his duvet and flung it across the room with a loud shriek of desperation. He still felt a bit of anger, but nothing would compare to the call he got next.

His cell phone rang several times before Jay bothered to answer it.

"Jay McGuiness?"

"Yeah, who's this?"

"You are Thomas Parker's close friend, am I correct?" a young woman asked.

"Yes, is everything okay?"

"Unfortunately Mr. McGuiness, it isn't. I have some bad news."

Jay's heartbeat picked up and his breathing became unsteady. "W-what happened?"

"I don't know who shut off his oxygen, but someone did. Without that machine on, Tom couldn't breathe on his own." She paused, and Jay waited for the inevitable news.

"Tom Parker is dead, Mr. McGuiness. I'm truly sorry. We're-" The woman continued to speak, but Jay didn't hear her. His phone slipped out of his hands and crashed onto the floor.

Jay killed Tom. Tom was dead because of him. Jay was a murderer now.

Tom was dead, he was gone forever. After Jay had given him the hope that things would and could be okay. Jay was stupid enough to not realise what Tom had been asking him to do. It was his fault Tom was now dead.

Jay couldn't handle this. He could barely handle Max being in a coma. Tom was dead, and he killed him. Nothing would change that, and nothing would bring Tom back from the dead. He was as good as gone.

Nathan came back upstairs with Jay's cuppa. "Hey love, here you- Jay?" Jay couldn't answer as he was frozen in place.

"Jay, love, what's the matter?" Jay didn't respond. Nathan picked up the phone from the floor and noticed the hospital's phone number on the caller ID.

"Jay, talk to me. What's wrong? Is it Max or Tom?"

Jay didn't respond, but instead a massive surge of anger took him over. Jay couldn't change anything, nor could he bring Tom back. It was over.

Jay snatched the teacup from Nathan and shattered it on the ground, the hot tea spilling all over the floor. Jay couldn't stop screaming and yelling and throwing whatever was in his sight.

"NO! WHY? WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME, TOM? WHY?" Jay shrieked as he clawed at his hair and slowly sunk down into a fetal position. Nathan, acting quickly, ran to get Jay's meds for his dementia. He poured two of the little pink pills onto the palm of his hand and offered them to Jay.

"Jay, take these, please. It will help, I promise. Jay just take them, for me, yeah?" But Jay wouldn't listen. He flung the entire bottle of pills from Nathan's hand, and the small little pills scattered all around the floor.