Mute

21- The Chocolate Argument

"What do you need help with?" Brendon asks once I show him my phone. I'm really doing this. 'I want to talk again' I reply. I'm really going to start talking again. I know it's only been just over a year since I last talked, but that's I long time for me. "You want my help with that?" Brendon asks sounding shocked 'Yes?' I type out confused at his reaction.

"You barely know me and you want my help with something personal like that, it's kind of an honour. Especially since you'll become massively famous one day and I can say I was the one to help you find your voice. Literally" Brendon laughs. He thinks that I'll become famous one day? Where did he get that idea? From my amateur playing of a guitar? I smile lightly, he has high hopes for someone he's only known for a week or so.

"Where do we want to start?" Brendon questions, looking up from his phone. It looks like he was doing research. "I've never done anything like this, I was looking for advice" He adds.

"Let's go out and get some ice cream first! It's meant to help" Brendon cheers. I don't know if that's true or not or if Brendon just wanted an excuse to have ice cream. Either way, it's something to do for the rest of the day.

As we walk over to what is apparently Brendon's favourite ice cream stand in all of America, I think about if I want to tell Josh about this. He might get the wrong idea. I would be around Brendon a lot and he could start to think something is happening there, which it's not. I think he made that clear when he told me to go for Josh. He could also think that I faked this all because of how easily it took him to change my mind or that I'm doing this all for him. Which is semi true, I want to have a proper conversation with him, but also Clara and everyone else. It's just taken me till now to realise that it's now just an inconvenience for me. It's been long enough. I want to do something without having to write something down. I overthink things. Probably just a bit too much.

"Penny! You zoned out" Brendon yells once we arrive back at the beach. I pull out my phone and type a sorry. "It's fine, just pick a flavour," He says. 'Strawberry' I type and he looks at me disgusted. "Chocolates tops all" He laughs at my choice in flavours. I smile, I didn't want a full-blown argument about which ice cream flavour is the best. 'Thanks' I respond as he hands me the ice cream which is covered in chocolate topping. "It will taste better" He shrugs his shoulders before walking off. Gosh he's stubborn sometimes.

"Did you like to sing before you stopped talking?" He asks randomly on our journey back to my apartment. I nod. I did, I loved to sing all the time. To anything and everything. I couldn't help but sing along every time I heard his and the other bands that I love. I don't necessarily know if I was even good. It wouldn't have stopped me anyway. "Would you start again?" He questions. Another nod from me. No explanation needed. I love music, just not really my voice. Maybe I can learn to get over that. Maybe Josh could help me with that.

Once we arrive back, we both head straight back to my room. "Josh is going to be so surprised when he hears you" Brendon teases. I'm going to be surprised myself, I can't even think what my own voice used to sound like. It's just been that long.

"Okay well I guess you can try humming" He goes on to explaining about starting slow and not rushing into anything or I could ruin my voice.

I try to make even the smallest amount of sound. It hurts more than I could of imagined. Not only physically, I thought this would've been easier. "This isn't going to happen in a day, it's going to take time," Brendon says once he sees that I was in pain.

I sigh, why did I get myself into this situation in the first place. I was fine until I met a guy which I liked. Now I feel like I need to talk otherwise he'll move on and forget about me. I don't want that to happen.

A ring comes from Brendon's pocket and he excuses himself to answer the call. He's gone for not even 2 minutes. "That was Dallon, they want me at the studio" He explains. "I'm sorry, but I guess text me when you want another lesson on guitar" He apologises before rushing out the door.

And now I'm alone. And bored. Back to Netflix and popcorn it is for the rest or the night. At least I have work tomorrow to keep my mind of Josh.