Mute

31- No Turning Back

For the next half an hour I sit on my bedroom floor, contemplating my life. Such a simple act of picking something to wear is a difficult decision. I don't want to seem like I'm putting too much effort in or not any at all. Now just to find that middle point.

I decide to put a hold on picking and actually have a shower. I should probably be talking to Clara alone but Josh insisted on coming for moral support. It's sweet of him but I don't know if it will help much.

By the time I'm showered and dressed it's almost 11. I head downstairs to find myself some breakfast and nearly have a mini heart attack. Josh making me bacon.

I mean I'm not complaining, BUT WHEN DID HE GET INTO MY APARTMENT?! "You left it unlocked, I figured you'd be too distracted and forget to make yourself food" Josh laughs. I smile as thanks and connect my phone to the speaker.

"Play stuff I'll know" he teases playfully. I do as told and go into one of my most played playlists. 'TØP'. When the first few chords of 'Holding Onto You' start Josh looks at me judgingly. But that doesn't last long when he bursts into laughter. "I don't know how you make me laugh without even speaking" He smiles once I return to his side.

This genuinely makes me smile. I haven't in a long time had a friend like this. I know there's Clara, but somehow Josh is different. Probably because I'm attracted to Josh, bet let's not get into that.

The smell of bacon reminds me of how hungry I am. And the grumble of my stomach tells Josh the same message.

While Josh continues to make me breakfast I skip upstairs to grab my phone, grabbing a jersey on the way down.

'You should stop sneaking into my house' I type out before shoving my phone in his face sassily. "But you get food made for you, and as a bonus, you get to see me" He smirks cockily. He does have a point. From the small range of food he has made me randomly, he's a pretty good cook. But there's not much range between bacon and pancakes, I wonder if his bacon pancakes are good. Do I even like bacon pancakes? That's beside the point.

Not long later the food is digesting and I'm ready to go. Well physically, definitely not mentally. I don't want to face Clara, being turned away in person is more heartbreaking than over texting.

"Well it's now or never" Josh mutters while basically pulling me out of my apartment. 'How about never?' I would type if I hadn't left my phone off the kitchen bench. I mentally curse at myself because now I have no way of communicating. I will just have to steal Josh's phone.

Josh is smiling at his phone, I assume that he's talking to Tyler. I give him a questioning gaze and he confirms my thoughts. "Tyler wants us to go out for lunch after, I mean if all goes well" He adds.

By the time I can even question what would I class as going well, we arrive at the record shop.

Josh takes the lead and walks into the shop first, I was almost tempted to run off. I've gotten good at running away from my problems, it's now a habit.

"Oh hey Josh, I wasn't expecting to see you around here for a week or so" Clara seems happy talking to one of her idols. Josh goes on to explaining the concert cancellations.

The bell on the top of the door brings the attention to me. "What the hell are you doing here?" Clara scowls, her voice sounding harsher than she attended. Well, that's definitely not a great start to this conversation.

A/N- IM BACK, I AM NOW 16 AND HAVE SEEN TØP TWICE. Twas a great time and I'm ready to write again... hopefully more than before.