The Real Me

What secret?!

"I am selfish,impatient and a little insecure.I make mistakes,I am out of control and at times hard to handle.But if you can't handle me at my worst,then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
-Marilyn Monroe.

Jay's pov

She seems a little more distant than usual like she's lost somewhere or having an internal battle with her mind and I can only wish to find out about what?

Why doesn't she want me close to her?Whenever I'm around she tries to run away,try to get away from me like I have some deadly disease that if she stays with me she'll be contaminated from it.

She says she isn't ignoring me but I do feel ignored.I never craved anyone's attention as much as I do her's.I don't know what is wrong with me but whenever she looks at me even with hate I love it,because it proves that I exist somewhere in her life.

I don't know why she wants me out of her life,maybe because it's the fact that I'm a guy.But I won't leave her-no I can't leave her not now not ever.If people hear me now they would probably think I'm crazy.

Crazy enough to just look at her for five minutes straight without saying something while she eats her fries.

"Hey Rose"she looked up to me and even her eyes didn't hold that twinkle,they were sad and gloomy.

"Can I sit here?"she raised her eyebrow and said"since when do you start to ask?"she fired her question back.

I opened my mouth but was cut off by her"Whatever I don't care".I sat close to her,close meaning close enough to make our thighs touch.I was in pure ecstasy with the feeling of her skin touching mine but I guess she had other ideas.

She moved away but I scooted closer to her.I want to hold her close But how can I when she won't even let me sit this close.

She got up annoyed,oh God she's walking away from me again.There was only one thing I could've done that was to grab her wrist.She turned around to face me and for the first time I saw a something foreign flash through her eyes.She looked so vulnerable.

I asked her to sit down and she obliged.We sat in silence both lost in thoughts when the bell ring snapped us out.

She got up from the bench and was leaving through the cafeteria door when I called out for her and ran up to her.

"Can we atleast be friends?"I asked I didn't want to lose her I was sure she was going to deny.I put my hand forward for her to reach waiting for her to reject me.

But she did something surprising.She shook my hand,just like last time it send tingles to my toes and she nodded in acceptance.

She let go of my hand and walked to her next class-Which is biology,yes I did stalk her a little bit.

I felt like I was going to faint she actually accepted me well as a... friend but all relationships start with friendship right.

I don't know why she has these walls so high that they could be compared to The Great Wall of China but I just know that I'm going to break them.I'm going to prove that I can be trusted.I am going to woo her off her feet.She is going to be mine because as they say if a man wants something,he will do anything in order to get what he wants.

Rose's pov

I don't know what I just did.One moment I'm ignoring him and the second moment I'm being his friend.What is wrong with me?So much for the ignoring plan.

I mentally face plamed myself when I saw Dove standing by her locker,taking out her notes.I tapped her shoulder and she jumped 5 foot in air.

"You almost gave me a heart attack!"she hit my shoulder.

"Where were you doing lunch?"I asked her,I wasn't that lost in thought to not notice her absence.

"Well ...I was with... Logan"she awkwardly scratched her neck.

"oh ok"I nodded in acknowledgment.

"you're not mad?"she asked surprise,do I really have anger issues that she would think I would get angry.

"No why would I be angry?"I asked in confusion.

"Beacuse I ditched you for a guy"she shook her head as if ashamed by her deed but I'm actually not angered with with her actually I'm pleased to see her with a guy,just because I stopped believing in love doesn't mean she has to,I can't drag her down with me.

"I'm not mad at all I'm really happy that you found a guy other than that dog face Daniel"I showed her my support.

"Rose,honey are you feeling ok,do you have temperature or something?"she touched my forehead with the back of her hand.

I slapped her hand away from my face and chuckled.

"Rose seriously you're laughing like a real laugh and actually happy that I'm with a guy"to that I laughed some more I don't know why but I felt like I needed to laugh after spending days crying and in melancholy.

When I was done Dove was standing there with a knowing smirk.

"What?"I asked

"I know a secret that you don't know"she sang.

"what secret?"I asked in curiosity.

"Well if I would tell you it wouldn't be a secret now would it?"I shrugged in response.

"Hey I'll see you later something just came up"I nodded waving at her and going to my next class-biology.

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End of chapter 17 hope you liked it.plz comment your thoughts and plz no hurtful ones.
Thankyou!

Love,
AuzaFatima!!