Chapter 24
All of our dreams were going according to plan. Connor and I are working in different private companies, training ourselves, we started from the bottom and we excelled easily. I was starting to make name in the fashion industry.
I'm waiting for Connor to come home for our dinner. Usually he comes home at seven, working extra hard to gain that experience for our business.
The business is starting now. We pooled in half of our trust funds for the business we've been wanting to build.
"Baby I'm home" he shouted. I readied our meal for today before removing my apron. He came in with a huge smile on his face. He caressed my face and kissed my lips. "Hi baby" he huskily said giving me that tickle on my stomach that he never fails to give me.
Connor was nothing but a seducer. He never fails to seduce me every day. He always makes me feel that butterflies in my stomach.
"How was your day?" I asked as we settle down on our chairs. Every day we sit beside each other as we tell stories that happened to us.
But today was extra special, today I prepared our bath, full of roses, just like how he prepares it every month.
When we entered our room, he smelled the aroma of the roses.
"Shit." He muttered. I know he forgot it was our monthsary today.
Every month he prepares this for me even if we've been together for years. He will always mutter before we make love "Can I impregnate you now?" And I will always tell him, no, not yet. We will be there, but not now. Even though we have finances to start a family, I think we still need maturity, having a family is another milestone and we need to plan very well for it. Afterall we promised to be married at twenty eight.
"Sorry baby." He sincerely muttered. I know he forgot about it, he's been busy with our prospective investors.
I shook my head and smiled at him, "You shouldn't say sorry. This thing that I did, this gives me empowerment. This makes me feel alive. That I am free. That I can decide on my own. You let me do things and it makes me feel brave. Conquering the fear that dad might be mad or disappointed with me? It was one great thing I can never forget"
Connor hugged me, and I hugged him tight. I know I will miss him.
For the years we've spent together, for all the trials we've been through, he made me brave. So brave that I can feel I can do everything.
That's what I thought. Not until I knew I had a cancer.
I consulted four doctors, all of them told me one same thing.
Stage four. Cancer of the brain.
I've been feeling dizzy, nauseated for two weeks. I thought that was it, that I was pregnant, I will be happy for it, even though it was not the best time.
But to my surprise it was not a baby, it was a cancer.
In two weeks time I planned all, on how I will walk away from everybody. From how I will not let them see me suffer.
It's hard, but this is the easiest way out.
Being away from mom and dad, my siblings and Paris made everything easier,
But with Connor...
I swallowed the lump in my throat, seeing him here right now makes me want to cry.
But I never wanted to be selfish and let him be tied with me until that day comes.
The doctor said I have six months, but based on my research, no one reaches the six month.
I was like a bomb waiting to explode.
Connor and I shared a bath, I was whispering to him how much I love him. How thankful I am for meeting him. For being there for my twenty five years of existence.
Because this week will be a major turn in my life.
"I love you very much Connor. Always remember that okay?" I said, pulling me closer to him. "Whatever happens, I will always love you."
"And I love you too."
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A week later, everything went according to plan.
"Fuck you!" Connor shouted, as he continue punching the man I hired. He was from a convention in another country, reason why he did not sleep at our place that night. He told me he'll be back after three days, but I knew he's planning to surprise me, that he'll be back the following day.
He saw us naked on our bed, and he was continuously punching the man.
"Stop!" I cried and pushed him away from the guy. Connor hugged me, looking at me he said, "Baby, what's this? Did he force you? What's this baby?" He frustratedly asked. He was holding my face, his tears are trying hard not to escape.
I moved away from him and asked the guy to go. I paid him much, I know that Connor will try to break his face.
I went to the bathroom to dress up, but before I did, I cried one last time. After this, I'll go back home, and then, I'll be on my own.
I opened the bathroom door, seeing Connor unhappy and helpless makes me want to tell him that nothing happened to us, that I made this up because I am leaving him anytime soon, that I never wanted him to be there by my side when he can start looking for another partner to share his life.
I stood in front of him, trying to control all the tears, "I'm going home." I mutter, with my voice shaking.
He looked up at me, with those questioning eyes, "Why?"
I inhaled, does he have to make it this hard? I was expecting him to throw me out, to call me names, but then, he's here, asking me why.
"I'm not happy anymore Connor. I... I've been sleeping with guys, while you're away....I-I think I don't want to settle yet."
He softly held my shoulders, looking at me in the eyes, "Why? Why baby? Am I too hard on you? Am I too difficult? What's wrong with me baby?"
"Did you not hear me Connor? I've been cheating on you!" I shouted, and my tears burst.
"Bullshit!" He shouted. "I don't care if you did! It was a one night Valerie! I can forgive you." He softly said.
"I want to go home." I softly said. His words made me realize more that he deserves someone who's entitled to his love. Connor's love is what every woman will want.
And I am blessed, to be his one and only love for the past four years of our lives.
"Why Valerie why?" He cried. "I can forgive you baby... Don't leave me please." To my surprise he kneeled down in front of me.
I cried, with a very heavy heart, I wanted to tell him the situation. I wanted to tell him that I'll be leaving soon. I wanted to be selfish, I wanted him to be with me...
Until my last breath.
But that will hurt him more. Those needles, those morphines, those nights when my head will ache crazily like it was cracking.
I never wanted him to see that, never.
I pulled him up, looking at his eyes, I hold his face, memorizing every feature of it, and I told him, even I do not want to,
"I do not love you anymore Connor. I want out. I want to be free. I realized I love you around, but it never meant that I love you anymore. I-I'm sorry..."
And that night, Connor let me leave, not saying a word, he watched me walked out of our little home.
