Chapter 25
Dad has been asking me non-stop what Connor did. Why I decided to go home. I keep on telling him I broke up with Connor, that he did nothing wrong.
I needed to break their hearts too.
Mom and dad will be very sad to see me suffering. As the days goes by, I keep on feeling the severe headaches and I never wanted them to see me have those attacks.
It's my second day here at home, and tomorrow I'm planning to leave.
"Valerie" Dad called me once again.
"Dad please? Will you stop controlling my acts? I told you Connor did nothing! Nothing!" I shouted. My heart was breaking every time I snarl at them, but then, this will be the easier way.
"Excuse me Madame." One of the servers called.
"What?!" I snarled once more.
"Duchess Katherine is waiting for you at the receiving room." She softly said.
"I'll talk to her." Dad said.
"She's looking for me dad. Let me talk to her!" I answered.
I was ready for the slap, or anything momma would do to me. Momma Katherine had been my second mom, and I know it will be hard for me to break her heart too.
I saw her at the receiving room. She was wearing all black and her eyes were swollen, she looked at me and hugged me tight, then she started to sob. "Valerie Maegan. I do not know what happened, but I'm begging you, take Connor back..." She cried, hugging me tighter.
"Sorry A-auntie..." I mutter, trying my best not to cry.
"Valerie, please... C-connor, he's been drinking for two days, h-he said you broke up with him, he did not want to tell me what happened, b-but h-he's been ruining his life Valerie. He does not listen to anyone, he only wanted you..."
"I'm b-begging you Valerie, please..."
I shook my head and run away. I cannot take this much, I need to leave now.
I packed all my things, all that can fit in my bag. Mom and dad was trying to stop me, but then, this is better than them seeing me suffer.
"Just leave me alone! I wanted to be alone! All my life you are controlling me! All my life I'm trying to please you! Now let me be alone! I hate being part of this family! I hate being controlled! LEAVE. ME. ALONE!"
Dad slapped me, "Vince!" Mom hysterically cried. This was the first time dad slapped me, he never even gave me any corporal punishment while I was growing.
"I hate you! I hate you!" I shouted and grabbed my bags and go.
I hailed on a cab and cried on my way to the airport. All of them are now away, last night, when Paris kept on calling me non stop, I send her a message telling her I don't want to talk to her because she stole Scott from me, I blocked her number once I told her that.
Now, I'm totally free. All that is left with me was my trust fund from Granny, my passport, and my pain relievers.
Three days of transferring from different countries in Europe to Asia. By train, bus, or airplane. Now, I finally landed to the place where I will spend the remaining days of my life, in Bohol, Philippines.
I made sure they lost track of me, I left my phone, changed my clothes, withdrew the money, transferred from country to country.
I bought a small bungalow house, by the shore, at the back of it was a hospital, in case I will need some medication.
The house doesn't have much in it, I was thinking I will not need them. All I have was a bed foam, a little basin at the side, in case I needed to vomit any time, a small table and stool for the days where I can still manage to stand, and a refrigerator, just in case, I can still shop for food.
I bought a phone with a speed dial on the hospital. I already told them I am alone, I advanced payments in case my sickness attacks.
The doctor was convincing me to go back to Europe, to try their advanced technology. I lied and told her I cannot afford it there, that I'd rather stay at this peaceful place.
She told me the same thing, six months, and I'll be gone in the world. I'm not naive not to know that six months is still too long for the time that I'll really spend here on earth.
I sat by the porch and looked at the sun as it set down. Twenty five years of my life was blissful, very happy, very blessed.
For the six months remaining, I want my love ones to start moving on, to be okay even before I leave the world.
I started making letters, all of them addressed to each of them, stating how much I love them. Confessing the reality that I never meant what I said, I just needed to let them go...
Today, I'm writing my letter for Connor, and I cannot help but cry as I tell him my last goodbye.
Dear Connor,
Hi baby! Wow! It's been almost a month since I last personally called you that. How are you now? Are you going out with friends? Dating some girls? Or still drinking to death?
I hope you are moving on, because you deserve to fall in love once again.
That day, when you saw me on our bed, naked with another man, I planned it. I do not know if you will believe, but nothing happened to us. I just needed you to see me on that set up so you'll be mad at me.
But you were not. You were willing to accept me. I wanted to burst into tears and hug you, tell you how scared I am, that every night when you fall asleep and my head starts aching, I will go to the other room and lock the door and cry. I wanted to tell you I'm scared of dying, of leaving you.
But I guess that will be too selfish of me not to let you go.
What I learned in life is that life is too short, it is too short for you to spend the last six months of my life, being with me, staying with me.
As of now, I still have no strength to google you and see how your doing. But one of these days I will.
So that even before I die, I will witness you to be happy with another girl. That way I'll be welcoming death happy, knowing you are in good hands.
I hope you'll fulfill our dreams of having ten kids, I being the housewife while you continue with our real estate venture. I hope you'll have little Connor's to fill our dream white house, where your wife will be waiting for you, asking you how your day was, and will make love to you at night.
Twenty five years will be different if you have not been my best friend and lover. It will be different if you have not been my savior.
Right now, I'm all alone at a strange city, but I'm okay, I'm safe. Most of the times I miss you, and whenever I feel like I wanted to be back with you I'm always telling myself that you deserve a woman who is not ill. Who will not leave you this early, whom you will build your family.
You have a throne to protect, a sick girl like me will be a hindrance to find the Queen you truly deserve.
Open your heart Connor.
I will always look down at you and pray to God to guide you to that one girl you deserve.
Thank you Connor, and I'm sorry. Sorry if I have to leave so soon.
Love,
Valerie Maegan
