Chapter 26
Sun rays woke me up the next morning, it was another day to be thankful for. I'm still alive and can still continue writing letters for my family.
I wrote one for mom, one for dad, and one for my other siblings. I'm thankful I have many siblings, it will fill in the space I am going to leave.
When I was younger, mom used to tell me how happy they have been, especially because it was their first time to have a baby.
Those sleepless nights, breastfeeding, first time I crawl, I walk, I called their name. I know they've been so happy and I am thankful I enjoyed being with them.
The doctor was encouraging me to go to Manila, the capital of this country, she was encouraging me to try taking tablets instead of chemotherapy. Earlier she was encouraging me to do the operation. She told me I'm still young and my body can do it. I asked how high is the chance that I'll live, she said it's a little chance.
I smiled and shook my head, I did not want to accelerate my death. She gave me hope, telling my the cancer cells were spreading, but chemotherapy and the surgery might help. She even told me she can bring the team here if I wanted.
I just shook my head.
"Do you have a family Valerie?" She asked. "I do" I answered.
"Why not fight for them? Why not continue life for them? You're a beautiful, bright woman. For those two weeks you've been visiting this hospital I know you know your status, but why give up on life?"
"I don't want to hurt my family" I said, smiling at her.
"My parents are loving parents. My mom is a doctor, I know she will blame herself if she cannot find a cure. She will dig in our history, how I get this, where did I get this, and at the end of the day, she will cry. My dad is a business man, he can afford the best doctors, but he will feel like he's a failure if he cannot buy that cure for me." I said.
"My ex-boyfriend will feel the same, he will hate himself because he cannot do anything for me. He cannot transfer the sickness to him, he cannot afford to see me helpless and he cannot do anything about it..."
"It will hurt them all, that's why I chose to move here, a little country, a small house near the sea, I see people, couple's in love, the peaceful and serene environment. It makes me reminisce all those good memories I had. Those memories I will forever treasure in my heart."
It was also near the hospital, that's why I have chose the place. The doctor I'm talking to right now is a general physician, she said she's not a specialized doctor fit to take care of me, but I never really cared.
I know, in a week or two I will call in the hospital, and asking for help, I'll be bedridden by then, and wait until that last moment.
In my bag I put the contact number of my parents, in case they will open it they'll see where they can call them to get my body. I also put in the instructions, that in case the day comes I hope they will give my letter for Connor after I have been buried.
No one deserves the blame for my sickness, it's okay to be sad, but I wanted them to continue moving forward, even without me.
I crossed the road towards the my house, outside, I saw little kids, happily running by the shore. I stayed in front of my house to watch them, it was another day, the whole day was spent in the hospital, another "X" on my calendar.
From afar I saw a man proposing to his woman, the woman was in all tears as she nod at him.
That day I had the courage to search Connor over the internet, and with a smile on my face I sleep that night...
Because I saw a news saying he was out on a date.
I guess I'll happily leave him. Thank you God.
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Connor's POV
No matter how hard the liquor was. No matter how many girls tried to get my attention...
I only want Valerie. I do not know what went wrong. I do not know why she cheated on me.
But nevertheless, I am still willing to accept her.
I was in my regular drinking spree since she left. Today, I dated a daughter of a politician. We've been captured by the press. Dad talked to me, telling me mom was so worried so I decided to go out.
At the middle of the dinner I know it will not work out.
The woman is self-centered. She's been talking about herself non-stop. It was obvious she just wanted to be my girl and be the future queen.
After the dinner she tried convincing me to stay over the night.
I tried kissing her, she's willing for a one night stand.
But at the middle of it, I stopped. I was looking for a familiar kiss, a kiss she doesn't have.
I left her and I know I'll not go out with her again.
I was never a one woman man before her, I hurt her, I was her first. Maybe she thought she's missing life.
But then, I'm willing to stick around, I never wanted her to leave.
I love her. Even if she cheated on me, I still love her.
I was never like this to the other girls. I will never stick around, why would I? I'm a future king. I never deserve this.
But with Valerie? I don't know what happened.
I've known her all my life! This is the first time I never predicted what she's thinking!
I tried tracking her phone, I tried tracking where she was, but I did not succeed.
She's booked in different hotels, spend days in different countries, then she'll leave.
I opened my phone and looked at our photo. It was one of the candid moments we had, we were embracing each other, I was whispering sweet words on her and she's laughing.
Why Valerie? Why?
This month, I was planning to propose on her, I cannot wait for three more years before I make her my queen. I've been escaping the throne for long, now I needed to do my engagements, and I needed her beside me, I cannot afford to leave her out of Lexumbia.
I am wondering if she's okay. She never wanted to be out of the city alone. She cannot sleep well without me. She's bad at directions. She's always worried when she's in an unfamiliar place.
Did I do everything for her? She love uncle Vince, but she told me she always wanted to explore the world.
Did I acted like Uncle Vince? Did I deprive her of freedom? Did I protect her too much?
I gulped in more liquor from the bottle. Hoping this pain in my hard will be numbed.
