DISCORDIA

[ 26 ] love rain

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"Hey, Bell. Promise me something."

"What is it?"

"Promise me that whatever happens, you won't change. Even if I do."

"Even if all the stars died out and the entire universe turned dark, I will never change."

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   THERE WAS A FIRE in her throat, her chest, her veins, her bones and every atomic fiber of her being. Jinny had never felt nor seen a sickness like this that consumed a person so rapidly and painfully. She'd been throwing up blood for the past hour, almost convinced that she was now rendered with anaemia. Everything was a blur, as if she was lost in a dream that had no end.

   Murphy fussed over her at one point; it looked like she had been one of the worst cases. Derek keeled over and died, she wasn't so sure because she had passed out right after. The fever had stolen every ounce of energy from her body, and the chills rattled her ivory structure. She felt someone holding her closely, soft lips brushing over her temple as a familiar voice whispered fervently in her ear. "Please be okay. You have to be okay. Please."

   She opened her eyes after waking from a deep sleep, her throat raw and parched. Even her salivary glands wouldn't produce anything for her to swallow. "Hey," Octavia said soothingly beside her, hurrying to get some water. The girl lifted her head up enough so she could take a gulp before laying her back down. "I'm gonna look after you, okay? You'll feel better soon. I promise."

   There were gun shots outside and she had a momentary stab of fear that she was going to die, sick and helpless. A tragedy, a mistake. 

   The next time she regained consciousness, Raven had ran in. "I'm gonna build a bomb using hydrazine and if you were okay, you'd probably high five me right now. But if I do get blown to bits, I just wanted to let you know that you're the best partner in crime I ever had. Okay, bye!" She dashed back out of the dropship. 

   When it was quiet, Clarke spoke to her. "I might still hate you, but I don't want you to die. I'm scared, for myself and everyone else. The Grounders planned for this to happen—it's biological warfare. And there's going to be a real war soon. You need to get them back for us. You need to..."

   Sometimes she would dream, mostly about Bellamy and the others back on the Ark. She wondered if she really did miss the space station that much, or just the carefree days that they all used to have. Teresa had been her study partner, and Jinny wanted to teach her everything she learned from her mother about software engineering before she got arrested. She was the only one who was able to keep the virus contained while Jinny rotted in Lockup.

   There was a book that Bellamy had been reading once that was so old, its pages were crumbling apart by the second. He used to read it out to her back in Walden and she could still remember each syllable and nuance in his voice. "Another secret of the universe: Sometimes pain was like a storm that came out of nowhere. The clearest summer could end in a downpour. Could end in lightning and thunder."

   Jinny always thought of herself as a storm. It didn't matter what kind of storm it was; a snowstorm, rainstorm, windstorm, sandstorm, firestorm. She was all of them at once, sweeping everything away in her path with a blazing fury. A hemorrhagic virus would stand no chance to her tempest.