Dan And Phil Preferences

Finding out you self-harm

*Trigger Warning*

Dan:

 It's a bit hard for Dan to wrap his brain around the realization that you've been self harming; you, the person who makes his world bright. He takes a few minutes to process it, sitting down and staring ahead in uncharacteristically serious silence. You wait, stomach churning, worrying your hands in your lap as you wait for him to react–in any way at all, really. And when he finally does, it's not a judgement or an accusation, it's not him getting up and walking away; it's simply a question. He wants to know how long. He wants to know a lot of things, but figures you can start with that if you're ready. It's definitely news to Dan that you've been struggling with this, but he sits up with you half the night letting you talk, asking you gentle questions and makes it clear as he can that he's in this with you; that he's not going anywhere, that your fights are his own.

Phil:

 The look on Phil's face when he discovers you self harm feels like it might actually break your heart. He's devastated and more than shocked to think of someone he cares for so much doing anything to hurt themselves. You're not exactly in the chatty mood and so he sits quietly with you instead, sitting up against the headboard of your bed, waiting until you fall asleep to leave your side. When you wake up the next morning, though, he's right there again. Only this time, he has his laptop with him and about a dozen tabs open. He tells you he's been doing research nearly all night and it's easy to see he didn't get a wink of sleep. He's learned everything he can about self harm, about resources nearby, about how he can help you help yourself. It's overwhelmingly sweet in that way that is completely unique to Phil. He's so abundantly eager to help you, to be there for you in your fight and do whatever he can, that it's impossible not to feel just a little bit lighter knowing he's carrying even a small bit of the weight of this with you.