Lost In Ya Love (Eddie Redmayne)

Lovers Friends.

Bored, I was sitting in my dressing room. I had to wait another 30 minutes for the make-up artist to arrive. To keep myself distracted, I scrolled through Twitter. After Eddie had kissed me, I avoided contact to him; I didn't want to ruin his marriage. As I was scrolling through my news feed, an article caught my eye.

Eddie Redmayne and Hannah Bagshawe getting divorced

The marriage of Eddie Redmayne (34) and Hannah Bagshawe (34) was beautiful, though it didn't last very long. Only two years after getting married and only six month after their daughter, Iris Mary, was born, the couple called it quits. Redmayne himself said in an interview that they both had fallen out of love but had tried for their daughter.

My phone slipped out of my hand. I knew that he had told her about the kiss; he had texted me non-stop ever since, telling me everything that had went down between the two of them. The only thing he hadn't told me, was that they were getting divorced. Tears started to form in my eyes because I felt like all of that was my fault. Before I could make any noise, I grabbed one of the pillows and buried my face in it. I had ruined someone's life, even though that was exactly what I had wanted to avoid. Yes, I had enjoyed the kiss - more than I had intended to - and yes, it had been everything that I had dreamed about ever since I had met Eddie. About 20 minutes later, I had calmed myself down and was sitting on a chair, staring at my reflection, while the make-up artist was taking care of my face. My phone buzzed on the counter; just someone replying to my previous text.

Andrew: You didn't ruin her life.

Emma: I did. I shouldn't have kissed him back.

Andrew: She wasn't even mad. Believe me, it's not your fault.

Emma: I feel so guilty.

Andrew: If it's anyone's fault, then it's Eddie's. Sure, Hannah is sad about it but she's mature. She just wants him to be happy and he wasn't, when they were still a couple.

Emma: Why?

Andrew: I can't tell you why.

Sighing, I put the phone back on the counter. I was complaining about something that should've made me happy; I thought about Hannah's well being more than about my own. Still, a part of me celebrated out of joy. He was single and it gave me hope that there was a chance for me. I knew, he probably didn't like me the way I liked him and had just kissed me because of the heat of the moment, well, that was at least what I kept telling myself. The photo shoot I was about to have was for Teen Vogue, so I just tried to concentrate on that rather than the whole drama around me.

Finally, I arrived at my house. Days like that were always exhausting; if I hated something about my job, then it was definitely photo shoots. I had never been a very photogenic person but with enough make-up even I looked good in pictures. Yawning, I walked through the front door and let my bag fall to the ground. The only thing I liked about photo shoots was that you got your hair and make-up done. My hair was currently curled and put into a high ponytail. With a sigh, I let myself fall onto the couch. Leo immediately came over to me and rubbed his head against my face; it made a huge smile spread across my lips. He was the only person - yes, I consider a cat as a person - that could always make me smile; he was also the only one that had a calming effect on me. 

Two weeks had passed. Only a few hours after I had found out about Eddie's divorce, he had told me himself. It had been the first time in almost a month that I had replied to his text message. Ever since then we were texting non-stop. He wanted to start over again; forget about the kiss and revive our friendship. With him living in London and me living in LA that was rather hard but not impossible. We face timed almost every day, well, when we found the time to. Eddie was moving at that time and he had Iris over sometimes. She was the most adorable thing I had ever seen. Bored, I was waiting for him to pick up the call. When he finally popped up on the screen of my tablet, a smile spread across my face. He was grinning at me, while he was playing with Iris who was sitting on his lap. After a while the baby had fallen asleep and he excused himself to bring her to bed. I waited patiently for him to come back. In LA, it was around lunch time, so I was eating some pasta. As soon as I saw the ginger come back, I put the plate away and concentrated on our conversation. My eyes were plastered on his lips because I couldn't quite forget the feeling of his lips on mine. 

"Eddie, can I ask you something?" I asked, still thinking about the kiss.

"Sure, dear!" he answered, smiling.

"Why did you kiss me?" 

His facial expression went from pure joy to shock as soon as the words had left my mouth. Obviously, he didn't know how to react to that question. It was like he was looking for something to say and to not hurt me. I patiently waited for his response, even though I wasn't sure if I really wanted to hear it. 

"I don't know." he slowly said after a while.

"Did it actually mean anything to you?" I almost whispered.

"Of course, it did. Did it to you?"

"More than you can imagine." 

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind. Forget what I just said."

"No, tell me. You know, you can tell me anything."

I took a deep breath before looking at my hands. A part of me wanted to tell him so badly because I had had that crush for over a year but at the same time, I was still scared to lose him. Playing with a loose strand of my shirt, I looked back at the screen of my tablet. Eddie was staring at me expectantly. 

"I kind of have a crush on you." I quickly mumbled.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"For how long?"

"Over a year."

"Was I the person that caused all of the drama back on set?"

"You didn't know, so don't blame yourself."

"Oh, I don't. Might sound weird but I kind of have a crush on you too."

I wasn't sure if I had actually heard that right. Still, I tried to focus on the question I was going to ask. On the inside I was completely freaking out, screaming out of joy, while I was calm on the outside. 

"Since when?" I asked, slightly smiling.

"I don't know, it started, when you left I guess and I realized it, when you and Andrew were dating. I felt jealous, you know." he answered, sighing.

We kept on talking for a little more until I had to get ready for an interview with Ellen. She was my absolute favorite, to be honest. Eddie sweetly smiled at me before hanging up. I still couldn't believe what had just happened. Finally, I had found the courage to confess my feelings to him and that was only because I had said the wrong thing.