Sacrifices (Dean Winchester x Reader)

Happenstance.

I didn't turn back that day.  Before they even left the building I was gone.  Dean would probably be mad the next time we met, if we did.  I hotwired the impala and drove back to the bunker.  I pack my clothes, and few belongings I had, before leaving.  I changed my clothes, couldn't exactly walk around in bloodied apparel.  I grabbed a few books on my way out.  By the time they returned I was long gone.  There was no note, no explanation.  Bobby wasn't too happy.  Dean had to explain what happened.  What they were told when they were alone with the doctor.

"Running is what she's used to.  I'm not surprised," Bobby sighed.

"Is there somewhere she would go?" Dean asked.

"Trust me.  If she doesn't want to be found, she won't be."

"Well, that's just great."

"Maybe we should look for a job. We might run into her," Sam offered.

"Maybe."

Dean sat at the table while Sam looked for a potential job.  How selfish could she be?  It wasn't fair for her to just up and leave like that.  It wasn't as though he wasn't upset.  Of course he was.  But what could any of them do now.  She evaded demons and monsters for long periods of time.  They weren't going to find her so simply. Dean started to despise her actions.  Even if they met again.  He didn't know if he would still have the same feelings for her.
    
      
I walked until I found another car and drove through the night.  I left the impala at the bunker.  Just because I didn't want to be near them didn't mean I had a death wish.  After hours of driving I parked in an empty lot.  I walked away from it and found my way to a motel.  I pulled out some cash and used a name even Dean and Sam wouldn't know.  The clerk handed me keys.  My head nodded as a thank you before I walked off.  I found the room and went inside.  The door shut behind me.  I locked it securely. The bag dropped at my feet as I sulked toward the bed.  I sat on the edge.  My heart torn between going back or continuing to run.  The phone in my pocket began to ring.  I looked at who was calling.  I, at the very least, owed Dean a goodbye.

"Hello?" I answered.

"_____, where the hell are you?" he demanded.

"Dean, I-"

"If you think you're the only one upset then-"

"I know I'm not!" my voice cracked.  The tears burning in my eyes. I shook my head to the side, "I am weak, Dean.  Too weak to keep myself safe from any of this.  It's my fault.  I just have to get stronger.  Maybe then I can face you again."

"You're being ridiculous.  Come back and I won't even bring up you stole baby. I, uh, I meant the car."

I couldn't say a word.  My sobs were muffled by a pillow.  I know what he meant.  He didn't mean for it to come out like that.  I apologized a few more times before hanging up.  Even though he begged me to come back.  I just couldn't.  Not now.  My heart felt like it had broken into millions of pieces.  I felt helpless, weak.  Crowley had finally done what he wanted for so long.  He had broken that brazen demeanor of mine.  I rolled over and stared at the wall.  The darkened room hid me from the world.  I pulled the blankets over me.  My body curled into a ball.  Days passed I barely moved my position.  I stood up, my body went through the motions of my morning routine.  I got in the shower, dressed in some new clothes and sat back down on the bed.  My bags were packed.  I had planned on leaving three days ago.  But I didn't have the energy to go anywhere.  I wanted to hide for the rest of my life.  That wasn't an option.  I picked up the key, and my bag.  I turned the key in and left the office.  Across town was a bus station.  I had seen a few busses drive by and the motel clerk informed me where it was.  My headphones canceled out the real world, leaving me lost in my thoughts for the walk.  The fresh air felt nice.  It was getting cooler out.  I bought a one way ticket to my hometown. I got on the bus and headed toward an empty seat in the back. My head rest on the window.  I should have waited around for painkillers at least.  My arm was in a lot of pain.  I had a couple minutes of sleep spread out across the ten hour ride.  The bus parked the bus station in my town.  I threw my bag over my good shoulder and made my way to a storage unit nearby.  A key was tucked in the bottom beneath everything.  I pulled it out and unlocked the unit.  I flung the door up and walked in.  The door slid shut as I locked the door from the inside.  Just a little of my own handiwork.  I walked around the unit.  Boxes and drawers were impeccably organized.  My hand pulled haphazardly on the drawers.