Crystal Eyes || m.h [COMPLETED]

NINETEEN

I distracted myself in simple ways for a week.

A few days I would explore places in London I had never seen, and then I would go to work.

Some nights I would drink until I was violently drunk and then pass out on the floor, only to have Leo find me and help me to bed. Those days were a lot more common than the exploring.

It had been two weeks, and Matty had texted me a few times. Only simple things, a "hello" and a "hey." He's texted me a lot, but most days I can't read the message without crying.

I had painted seven paintings, slept maybe fourteen hours total, and drank over a hundred bottles of multiple drinks. The routine began to come naturally.

As I sat on the couch, a headache coming from my hangover. I waited for my medicine to kick in as I drank my coffee.

I heard Leo outside talking, "Yeah she hasn't been doing too well... she's been drinking a lot, and painting... painting a ton. She hasn't slept much either."

"Oh."

I knew the voice, and the voice made me freeze.

"How have you been, though? Have you been okay?" Leo asked.

"Uh, I don't know... what she's been doing sounds familiar to me."

There was a pause between their talking, "Do you want to see her?"

"Will she let me?"

I stood up and quietly walked over to the door, looking out of the peep hole. "I can ask," Leo pulled out his phone.

"Um... yeah, text her," Matty nodded.

Leo texted me, and my phone which is on the couch buzzed. I rushed over and quickly read the text.

Leo: hey Matty wants to see you, do you want me to send him in?

I grabbed my coffee and ran into my room, sitting on my bed and covering up.

Me: yeah I'm in my room

I heard the door open, and then the sound of Matty's boots hitting the floor. Next was knocking at my door.

"Can I come in?" Matty asked.

"Yeah."

Matty slowly opened the door then looked up at me. "You look exhausted," Matty squinted his eyes.

"I am," I admitted.

Matty looked around my room then back at me. "Leo said you haven't been to well."

I nodded, looking down at my coffee. "What about you?" I tapped on my mug.

"I've been writing a lot," Matty stated. "And I see you've been painting."

I nodded, and Matty looked at the painting I did right after we broke up.

I set my coffee cup on my nightstand. "I've been thinking that once I get my job I might adopt Maverick and Genesis."

"Really?" Matty smiled. "That's amazing."

"Yeah," I nodded. "But I don't know if I'll ever be able to do that."

"I think you'll be able to," Matty smiled.

"Okay, okay, stop putting pressure on me," I rolled my eyes.

Matty sat beside me on my bed, "Let's just start talking about what we're supposed to." Matty sighed, "So?"

I looked up at Matty, biting my lip. "I..." I began. "I want to take everything slow."

"Perfect," Matty smiled. "My band is going on tour in a month, and we want you to come."

I felt a smile creep on my lips. "Matty," I laughed.

"Come on, live a little. It's just a month and it's only around Europe," Matty smiled.

"Let me think about it," I smiled.

"Okay, but I need to know by tomorrow," Matty smiled.

"Matty!" I exclaimed. "I'll go!"

Matty smiled, "That's what I like to hear!"

"You're going to have to give me the tour dates so I can send them to my family in case something happens," I stated. "And I am not staying in a hotel room alone because that shit scares me."

"Okay," Matty shrugged. "You can stay with me."

I smiled at Matty. "Way to go for-" I stopped. "Does that mean your album is out?"

Matty nodded, and I quickly grabbed my phone getting on iTunes and buying it instantly.

"Did you just buy it?" Matty laughed and I looked up at him, nodding.

"Why didn't you tell me it was out?" I questioned.

"We kinda broke up?" Matty raised his eyebrows, creating wrinkles in his forehead.

"Shh," I laughed. "No we didn't."

"Oh yeah! What breakup?" Matty joked.

Matty wrapped his arm around my shoulder, "Do you want to take a nap? Because I can tell that both of us have had a lack of sleep over the past days."

"Yes, I'd love to nap," I smiled.

- Matty's POV -

The simple things.

The simple things about Sarilynn made me realize how broken I was during our time apart.

Her presence was the biggest issue. Sarilynn and I were constantly together, and to have her not around I felt like there was a missing piece.

I realized how lonely my apartment is, even with the guys over I didn't have her texts with random sayings. I realized how much I relied on those paintings to bring a bit of more life into my place.

I realized how sensitive to sound I am. Every little footstep I heard I would be up for an hour thinking about. Every yell I heard from Sarilynn and Leo's room made me suspicious.

But when Leo talked to me today about how awful Sarilynn had been, I remembered how disconnected I was.

The ways she impacted me and I didn't even know it were critical. The day after we broke up I stared at one of her paintings for two hours.

I wrote like crazy, coming up with random lyrics and songs that I'd never use again. When I saw how much Sarilynn had painted, I realized our coping methods were very similar.

I gently moved a strand of Sarilynn's hair to behind her ear and out of her face. Even with a good chance of sleeping well, I couldn't find myself to close my eyes.

I sighed, realizing the silence with Sarilynn was better than anything by myself.