Soren McKinin; the disappointment of the family, the child his parents wished did not belong to them, the type fathers warned their daughters not to date.
Anger issues, a heartless brute that got into fights and saw the world as dark grey, helples...
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Sorry for the really late update... I kind of got overwhelmed by the response this book has got. I couldn't help but think, "what if this chapter isn't good enough?"
J A Y
Aunt Patrisha argued with the Fishmonger who was red faced, sweating and completely flustered with the hispanic women. They talked faster than I could understand, Aunt Patrisha movements becoming more and more animated. They were arguing about shrimp.
Christmas Eve meant all fresh ingredients for Christmas dinner had to be collected but of course, every other family was doing that too. This meant I had to fight my trolley through a massive of crowd of angry, stressed ladies who wouldn't hesitate to run me over with their one trollies if Aunt Patrisha wasn't so fierce looking.
Dad had invited the whole family to stay over for Christmas. When I mean 'the whole family', I don't mean grandparents and siblings if I had them. No, I mean the whole family. Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, cousins, second cousins.
"hombre estúpido," Aunt Patrisha grumbled under her breath, turning to me with the look. Anyone who's Hispanic knows 'the look', it's as if they're rolling their eyes, sighing in frustration, lips thin with anger, though it's all conveyed in one simple glance.
I smiled weakly, shuffling out of the way of a sprinting ancient lady, who clutched a frozen turkey to her chest as if someone was going to jump out of an aisle and steal it.
Thoughts flickered through my mind like a faulty light bulb, one that couldn't decided if darkness was better than the light. I rested my weight against the handles of the shopping trolley, feeling my shoulders go slack from exhaustion, exhausted of the consist flicking.
Soren was home today, ordered not to do exercise or anything that could make him heave for air. He hadn't called or texted, neither had I. I couldn't help but think maybe he had forgotten me completely.
Aunt Patrisha then proceed to buy sea scallops for the Ahi and Shrimp Soup, handing me a pounds of heavy crustaceans.
My life depended on hope, hope that one day someone would turn around the corner and sit with me, not continue walking. Hope that one day she'd just snap out of it and become Lily Whiley again. Hope that a boy would choose to stay alive. Those things had the slight glimpse of hope, but this, this was out of my reach. There was nothing in this whole world that could bring him back, or bring me back to him.
Worst of all I was selfish enough to leave him when he needed me most, even if he saw Neena I should have stayed. I had to be the nicest, most supportive Neena he had ever met. But could I be someone else to make him happy? Would I even survive in the process knowing when he opened his eyes he saw and laughed with someone who wasn't me. As if seeing a two sided mirror, I'd press my hand to the glass and those few inches kept me apart.
"We roughly live for one hundred years. The purpose being able to say did I make someone else's life better?" I breathed under my breath as ladies scurried past, my aunt yelled and Soren's words echoed in my mind.
It was cold without him, peoples smiles, laughs, the air.
Everything was dull to him but without him everything was dead. The beauty was in destruction, though he made himself his own garden of peace. A garden where the streams ran with alcohol, threes shed cigarettes. This way, everything bad in this world seemed normal and everyday wasn't so hard to face.
My eyes casted to the ground, not able to lookup at blue eyes that held kindness, strength.
Soren didn't build walls around his world, he was the wall. He was his own father figure, he was his own carer, his own comforting companion. I didn't break down his wall, I became part of it.
He had someone to hold because no one ever held him, I was part of the wall.
"Jay!" Aunt Parthisa screeched, holding out a bag of fishy smelling creatures which I took. Though, she didn't let go of the bag as we stared at each other, "Jay... ¿Por qué me miras así?"
"I am part of the wall..." I breathed, eyes widening with relation, "I am part of the wall!"
"¿Que qué?" She looked honestly scared as we lowered the bag together into the trolley, her eyes never leaving mine.
"Aunt Patrisha, I have to go see Soren. Right now!" I dropped the bag completely, running towards the exiting, dodging ladies and small children.
Soren wasn't in his room, he wasn't in the house. No one knew where he was.
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(Not the last chapter)
It feels awkward how many chapters there are in this book but a relationship doesn't evolve in fifteen or even twenty... hope you guys are still reading xx
I'm trying to figure which covers to use and I was wondering if you could help me!
