The Heart Wants What It Wants

S E V E N T E E N

✨ And im sad, again ✨

🌸

"So what do you think Justins' gonna say this time?" Ryan asked as he helped Demi put the now clean dishes away.

"Probably some stupid shit that's gonna upset her." Demi said as she grabbed a soda from the fridge.

"Why does Justin feel the need to ruin her fun when she's finally happy again? Like why?" Ryan asked jumping on the counter top.

"Because, if Justin isn't happy with the way she is; he'll make himself happy. Justin is toxic for Selena. And she doesn't see it." Demi mumbled as she sat on the stool.

"I think Justin loves to see her miserable. If she's not hurting he's not happy." Ryan said with a casual shrug.

Demi went to speak but Selenas' loud scream was heard from upstairs.

Demi jumped up and took off running behind Fredo.

And when they reached Selenas' room she sat on her bed knees to her chest, and tears running down her face.

Demi rushed over to her and hugged her best friend.

"What happened?" Joe asked as he picked up Selenas' shattered phone.

Selena didn't respond she just cried into her best friends shoulder. Cause the pain was to much.

The pain of not feeling good enough for someone hit her like a brick.

The pain of the one person she loves not loving her back. It all hurt to much. And it hurt deep inside her heart.

She could feel her heart breaking, and it left her with no feeling at all.

With no feeling in her body, it was like she was a dead person now.

There was nothing she felt, she didn't feel anything, she felt nothing but numb.

She sat there starring at the wall as her friends cared for her. But yet, it felt like she was alone. It felt like she had no one but herself in this world.

And maybe that's all she did have. Was herself. She didn't have Justin, she didn't have her dad anymore, she didn't have her mom. She had her friends; but did she really have her friends?

Justin had finally broken the last piece of her, and he didn't even know it.

Justin didn't know that his choice of words made her think she was nothing but that.

Justin didn't think before he said; he said to hurt. His intentions were to never hurt Selena, fuck that was his princess, his goddamn world.

But a guy like Justin isn't good for a girl like Selena.

Selena was the only good thing Justin had in his life. And he just lost that too.

After his dad left Justin wanted to hurt every breathing thing the way his dad hurt his mom. The way he hurt him.

But Justin didn't see the things he did to Selena, was the exact thing his dad was doing to his mom.

Making her feel like she wasn't anything. Justin didn't mean to. But he did it. And now her heart, is made of stone.

No feeling what so ever. And she hated to admit it, but she liked that feeling.

It's like no one could hurt her.

"I'm gonna change, I'll meet y'all at the lake." Selena said as she slid off of the bed and walked to her dresser.

"Are you okay?" Zayn asked.

Selena wanted to tell him no, she wanted to tell him how could she be fine in a mess like this? How could anyone be fine in a mess like this?

That her heart was so broken she didn't know what it felt like to be happy.

That she had no feeling in her body, so how could she be okay? But she didn't say any of that.

She simply looked at Zayn and forced the best fake smile she's ever put on.

"I'm perfect." The group let out a breath and hugged her one by one before going to get ready.

Selena let go of her smile and stared at her reflection.

"I'm perfect." She mumbled one last time as she pulled out a black one piece.

She took off her top and poked at her stomach, she was still fat. Not good enough yet.

She finished getting undressed before slipping into her black one piece.

She grabbed a towel and walked outside to see her group of friends already enjoying the water.

Fake it till you make it.

✨🌸✨

I Wanted To Knock This Chapter Out Since Its Kinda A Boring One But A Look Into Selenas' Mind.

So After This Y'all Gonna Be Like

BITCH SINCE WHEN!?

Anyways Here Y'all Go !

- Bertha 💍