The Heart Wants What It Wants

T H I R T Y - T H R E E

✨ This is not an apology ✨

🌸

Selena sat legs crossed beside her dads grave. It was early in the morning wind blowing everywhere.

She sniffed and whipped at her eyes.

"I'm sorry daddy." Was all Selena could manage to say.

Out of an hour she had been sitting there, all she could say was she's sorry.

But she was sorry.

"I'm sorry for not listening to you. A-About Justin. Y-You were right. H-He's no good for me daddy." Selena took the sleeve of her dads old sweater and whipped at the tears.

"I-If I didn't f-fight with you; m-maybe you'd s-still b-be here."

"M-Maybe you wouldn't be g-gone. A-And I-I would be happy." Selena sobbed.

She felt so much goddamn pain it felt like she was dying. But could someone already dead die?

She regrets the night her dad died. She regrets the night her and her father argued. Over some boy.

"G-God I'm so sorry." She hiccuped.

"I'm sorry too." Selena turned around and saw Justin.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Selena growled as she stood up.

"You never let me explain my part of the story." Justin mumbled.

"What part? The part that you fucked every girl in our school? Or the part that you never meant for your secret to come out." Justin shook his head.

"Selena nothing happened. That's what you don't understand."

"So you never slept with her? Or Hailey? Or Sofia? Or any other girl?" Selena stood there waiting for him to answer.

"It never meant anything." Selena gasped.

Because hearing it from him hurt more than hearing it from Barbara. Because now it's true.

"H-How could you?" Selena sniffed

"I was drunk princess, you have to understand what I'm going through."

"I've always understood! I've always tried to support you. I've always tried to be there for you. For What? To be treated like shit? To be called a hoe when you were the one being a whore?"

"Baby-" Selena raised her hand.

"-Don't Justin. Just don't. I have to go." Selena placed the roses she bought her dad on his grave and kissed his stone.

"I'll visit soon daddy. I love you." Selena closed the jacket she had on as she stood up and stepped over his grave.

"I liked your dad you know. He was a great man." Selena turned around and did a side smile.

"To bad he couldn't stand you." Justin tugged at his hairs.

"I can't lose you Selena! Do you know what that's going to do to me? I love you to goddamn much!" Selena shook her head

"It isn't love Justin! When you love someone you don't make them sit there and fucking wonder why their not good enough! To sit there and make them wonder what they need to do to be pretty! To have them kill themselves daily! If that's love I don't want it!" Selena shouted at a pacing Justin.

"I-I did that to you?" He asked

"And more." Selena mumbled as she turned and started walking away.

"I love you!"

But this time she didn't fall for his trap.

✨🌸✨

Story Time !!!

Okay So I Was In The Car With My Mom And Uncle Going On &&' On About Justin Dissing The Grammys 😭😭

Like Wtf !? All Youu Gotta Do Is Get The Fucking Award &&' Say A Little Speech &&' That's It 🙄

But Nooo ! You Wanna Boycott ! 😒

Jeremy Did It Purposely !

Or He's Dissing It Cause Ablena ☹️ They Cute &&' All But Jelena 😩💦💕🔒

Anyways ! After That My Phone Kept Going Off Cause Daddy Was Spamming 😍😛💦

Well I Saw The One With Him In Glasses &&' My DumbAss Shouts Daddy In The Car 😭😭😂

My Mom &&' Uncle Looked At Me Like "The Fuck Youu Say" Bro I Was So Embarrassed 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Anyways !

Just Gonna Leave This Here ☺️

- Bertha 💍