The Guard To My Sanctuary

Chapter 10

I hated that I couldn't stop crying in his arms. I hated the people who stared at us through the car's windows. I hated that I was so comfortable in his arms. I hated that I needed him but at the same time, I loved having someone that's not supposed to love me unconditionally like my family. I hated that they didn't joke and laugh around me it was depressing me more. I hated how angry I was at everything.

"Oh, you're done crying," Marco's deep voice appeared. I indeed had stopped crying without knowing it.

"I guess," I said in my soft voice trying my best to make it not sound scratchy looking down at the floor of the car.

"Look at me please," he asked calmly. I looked up at him sitting up and blinking my eyes that were stinging.

"I promise you from here on out I'm going to be there for you the moment you call, well after you get a phone. As I was saying, I'm here when you need me I want to always be there for you even when I have to go back to work. If that means I have to go without sleep driving back and forwards then so be it, do you understand," he asked?

"I understand," I said placing my head on his hard chest. We sat in silence waiting for them to come back which I knew would be a moment.

'Am I broken? I don't feel broken. what does broken feel like? Is this how it feels to be free? I'm so tired. I'm so so so tired, God he smells good. Am I getting hard? What's going on? I'm definitely not in the headspace for a relationship. Maybe I should kiss him? He was hard when I was changing. No, I need to focus on my recovery he's just here to help'

I heard my name getting called and snapped out of my thought realizing we were parked in front of a house I had never seen before. I was a nice house, not some brand new house you'd see on tv but it was nice. It had two stories and a red door like the house we used to live in except this one was a blue-gray.

"Where are we," I asked.

"Home," Daddy said and got out. I climbed out of my seat and let the chair down so Pine could climb out. Before I could look for him Marco was at my side and I grabbed his sweater.

"When did you guys move," I asked.

"When you were missing we got a lot of people donated money to the family. So I took some of it to get this house so you'd have your own room when you came back then put the rest in a trust so you would have some padding to start your life over with," my dad said.

"Oh," I said and reached for a bag but my Uncle looked at me and shook his head. I hated that I was treated like a glass doll around the masculine men in my family but at the same time I was happy to not have to carry the case of water like Pine was forced to. I grabbed my bag and Marco slipped his duffle bag over his shoulders then grabbed a bag that held a gallon of milk and we walked to the door. My Dad unlocked it and the first thing I noticed was a wall of pictures. They were of all of my family gatherings and me and my brother's birthdays and other key moments. What stood out were two large pictures. One of my mom that my dad used to carry in his wallet and the other was of me as a small child taken at a park. I looked a mess and my two front teeth were missing and the empty space was only visible because I was going through an ugly smile phase.

"So now that's he's safe can we take that ugly picture down," Alder joked and everyone stopped. I looked around and started laughing really hard at how they were looking at me like I was going to break down. I could feel Marco silently laughing.

"You guys need to loosen up he's home now, you being all serious isn't going to help him acclimate back into family life," Marco said.

"Oh ugh," John said.

"Good to know," he said walking deeper into the house. We all followed to the living room which was nice and cozy feeling. I walked to the kitchen with Marco and we came back into the living room while everyone sat down. Pine came up behind us and tapped Marco's shoulder causing him to tense up. I looked at him and noticed his face contorted then calm down quickly.