The Guard To My Sanctuary

Chapter 51

"Can I come in Call, please just for a minute," I heard Ozias's deep voice boom from the other side of the door like a trumpet and rolled my eyes at his guff. He knocked again so I turned my headphones on allowing the melancholy music to mask the sound of his voice which wasn't really working since it was so deep and my headphones were barely working. I wasn't even furious anymore since I had a day to calm down but the pettiness in me wouldn't let me just give in and have a discussion with my brother. Beo had slept in the guest room and we had a discussion in the middle of the night about things. I wasn't mad that they were doing whatever they wanted with each other I was more pissed that they lied and snuck around. Also, he had the nerve to be sucking my brother's dick and breathing in my face in the middle of the night, he was a terrible mouth breather when he slept. On top of the shock, my emotions were in flux from my period causing a surge of hormones to flood my brain. I felt bad for Beo because my brother could claim him till the cows come home but he's been a known cheater in the "relationships" he was in.

I closed my eyes and thought about better things, like the way Germany smiled in an attempt to ignore my brother and it was working until my headphones were taken off of my ears and I opened my eyes. Ozias's hulk sized ass was standing over me with an eyebrow raised like I was disturbing him when it was, in fact, the opposite. I had forgotten that the burglar in training had learned to pick the locks a few years ago.

"You know I don't like people in my space uninvited and you are definitely uninvited," I said turning over so my back was to him.

"Look can we just talk baby bro, you can't still be mad. Maddox is over it and he actually got hit, I'm over you hitting me and you made up with Beo. What didn't I do so wrong that you can't even have a discussion with me," he asked sitting on my bed without asking which was a pet peeve of mine.

"I'm capable of having a discussion with you I just don't want to. There is a glaring difference between the two," I said to him.

"Are you really that mad, do you like Beo or something. Are you jealous," he asked me in a hushed tone. The question was so ludicrous that I had to turn over and look at him just so he could see my face and the judgment on it.

"What the hell kind of question is that. Beo is like another brother to me. The real question is do you even really like him or was you put in a corner by mommy and dad," I asked realizing that he had dragged me into a conversation.

"I don't know. He's the only guy I've been with more than once but I don't know about the whole exclusive relationship with. I'm young why should I be tied down to someone. Beo holds this weird place in my life that I can't explain," He said. I looked at him and gave him a slow eye roll that was full of judgment.

"You know you sound like a generic brand fuckboy, right. Like pure concentrated authentic fuck nigga," I asked him.

"Yeah, I know. I've never said that out loud hearing it made me cringe. But the thing is I'm not even sure I'm bisexual. I don't like masculine guys at all. It doesn't make me hard or anything I'm actually repulsed like you are by pussy. Remember when we showed you a picture of a vagina for the first time and you got physically ill. Anyway, I don't even like tomboys or androgynous type of girls. It's weird so I feel like I'm dragging him on while I figure out what I actually am, I know it shitty of me to do but I kinda do like him in a way but I also want the space to figure things out," he said to me not realizing that I had started typing on my phone.

"Are you even listening to me nigga," he asked me sounding annoyed.

"You're tone, I keep a knife under my bed and I will stab you with it," I said to him finishing my Google search.

"It sounds like you're a femme sexual from what I'm reading, you really should utilize Google more often Zi, I mean it's free. So it says that you fit into this subcategory of bisexuality where you are attracted to feminine qualities despite the sex of a person. That's all fine and well but you can't drag Beo along while you get used to being you. He's really sensitive and you could really hurt him so you need to figure out those confusing feelings fast and make a decision. Also, I'll take my official apology now because we're not going to move on without one. You're good for giving some half-assed apology without addressing what you did, and I'm not mommy so I won't accept that," I said to him with a serious face.