Homestuck One-shots

I love you jerk (davekat) (humanstuck)

Karkat's P.O.V

I still can't believe that the only job that I could get was at this crappy as coffee shop. Everywhere else called me to angry or loud. I groaned as a new customer walked in. It was rush hour and everyone else was busy. I would have to take care of them. He was wearing dark shades even though it was cloudy out and he had one hand in his jean pocket and the other was holding his phone. Great. This would be fun. He walked up to the counter. "WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU." The man glanced up from his phone for a second before saying, "I'll just have a coffee." "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT." The man didn't answer for a moment. He just continued scrolling through his phone. "I'll just have it plain." He finally said. I rolled my eyes. I wasn't in the mood for this shit. "THAT'LL BE $3." The man dug around in his pocket for a while before pulling out three crumpled bills. I took them and the man continued scrolling through as I told him his number. He went to sit down. I sighed and went to make his coffee. I was so annoyed with that asshole. I decided I would get a little revenge. When I finished with his coffee, I took a pen and scribbled a bunch of dicks all over it and wrote, 'FOR THE ASSHOLE WITH NUMBER 5'. I called his number and he took it without even looking up from his phone. I watched as he sat down and finally looked up from his phone and saw the pictures. He smirked and gave what looked to be a chuckle! That wasn't what I wanted! I growled. Whatever. It wasn't like I would see him again right? Boy was I wrong. From that day on, he became a regular. Always arriving when I was the only one able to take care of his order. He always ordered the same thing and he always was on his phone! It was so frustrating! Finally, I was done with his bullshit. When he walked up to order just like he always did I snapped. "LISTEN UP IDIOT. I AM DONE WITH DEALING WITH YOUR RUDENESS. IF YOU ARE GOING TO CONTINUE TO COME HERE AT LEAST TREAT YOUR WAITER WITH A LITTLE RESPECT!" The man just smirked. "Chill man. Fine. I'll have my usual." I could tell he wasn't taking me seriously. I rolled my eyes and growled before going to get his coffee. He sat down in his same spot but when he came to get his coffee he actually looked up from his phone for once. Maybe he was taking me more seriously than I thought. "Thanks." He said. I nodded in response and went back to the register. I examined the guy closer than I had before. He seemed lanky and a bit taller than average but well built. It looked as though he exercised daily. He kept one stoic look on his face the entire time he was there. His blond hair was swept back and looked to have been treated well with conditioner and shampoo. The guy seemed to take a lot of pride in his looks despite it being quite weird. Soon, the guy leaves to go who knows where. The rest of the day, I can't stop thinking about him. His outfit showed a guy who could care less about everything but he had actually been nicer to me upon my request. I was curious about the guy. I decided I would try to talk to him more tomorrow. Or at least give him my pesterchum handle so we could talk later. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, ripped it, and stuck it in my pocket before leaving for work the next day. When he came in, I spoke first. "THANK YOU FOR RESPECTING ME YESTERDAY. I WISH TO TALK TO YOU AFTER MY WORK. HERE IS MY PESTERCHUM." I awkwardly handed him the slip of paper. He took it with a smirk. "Sure. In the meantime, just get me my usual." I nodded and went to get it after giving him his number and taking his money. The rest of the day, I anticipated the end of work even more than usual. When I got off, I went home and logged on. I waited and not long after I got a message from a strange handle. I clicked it and the message read, "Hey, is this the waiter guy? Did I get the handle right?" "YES YOU DID." "Cool. Why exactly did you want to talk to me?" "BECAUSE I CAN'T FIGURE YOU OUT! YOUR HEAD IS CONFUSING. SOMETIMES YOU ACT COOL AND CAREFREE BUT THEN YOU TAKE MY WORDS SERIOUSLY. IT MAKES NO SENSE." "My body consists of nothing but pure coolness and irony. It's like a sandwich with coolness as the bread and irony the meat." I rolled my eyes as he continued to ramble on and on. Eventually I interrupted him. "OK. WHATEVER. WHAT'S YOUR NAME ANYWAY." "Names Dave. You?" "DON'T YOU READ THE NAMETAG? IT'S KARKAT." "Like car and cat only with 'k's? Weird but cool. I like it." I growled. As if I hadn't heard the car and cat thing hundred million times. It got annoying. "Anyway, since you want to get to know me, maybe you should come to the party I'm hosting. It's going to be blasting." I thought for a moment. Why not. I had nothing better to do. "SURE. WHAT DAY AND TIME?" "Awesome. Tomorrow at 6:00 pm." "OK." "Well, someone else is pestering me. See you later." I said my goodbyes and closed the chat. I leaned back and was just about to log off when I got a message. "Hello Karkat. Are You Busy?" It was Kanaya. I worked with her so I wonder if maybe she overheard my conversation with Dave. "NO. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO LOG OFF." "Good. I Wish To Speak To You About Something." "WHAT IS IT?" "I Couldn't Help But Overhear Your Conversation With One Of The Customers Today And Was Wondering What That Was About." "YOU MEAN THE ONE WITH THE SHADES?" "Yes. That Would Be The One I Am Referring To." "NOTHING MUCH. HE'S JUST BEEN A JERK AND THEN WASN'T FOR SOME REASON AND I WAS CONFUSED. NO BIG DEAL." "If You Say So Karkat. I Will Leave You Be Now. Goodbye." "BYE." I closed the chat and logged off. She hadn't sounded convinced with my reason. Did she know something I didn't? Whatever. I shrugged it off and went to bed. I woke up the next morning. No work today thankfully. So what to do until 6... I hadn't even gotten out of bed when I got a message from a strange handle. "HELLO? WHO ARE YOU?" "I am Rose. Kanaya's friend and Dave's brother. The latter has informed me you will be coming to the party tonight and the former gave me your handle." "OK... SOUNDS LIKE HER BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT?" "I just wished to warn you about the nature of the party. Dave tends to leave out details." "OH. OK." "His parties tend to get wild and there is alcohol involved. Many people I swear he doesn't even know tend to show up. It gets crazy fast." "WHATEVER. I'LL JUST LEAVE IF THINGS GET OUT OF HAND." "Ok. See you there then." We both closed the chat and I logged off. I spent the rest of the watching rom coms. At one point, Rose had messaged me again asking if I knew where the party was. I didn't and she provided me the address and room number for the apartment it would be at. Eventually, it was time to go. I got in my car and drove to the place. I knocked on the door and a boy with black hair, buck teeth, and glasses answered. "Oh! Hey! You must be Karkat! Come on in!" He moved out of the way and it seemed I was one of the first arrivals. It didn't stay that way for long though and soon it got crazy like Rose had said. I had several drinks and the next thing I know, I'm waking up on Dave's floor with my hair a mess and a pounding headache. I sat up with a groan and Dave walked in the room. "Hey. You're up. Good morning Karkles." "DON- ow... don't call me that shithead. What happened?" "You got drunk out of your mind and passed out." "That explains the headache..." "Got a hangover huh?" "Yeah... Did I do or say anything stupid last night?" "You didn't do anything. Can't say the same for the speech." Was that a tint of blush on his checks? What did I say? "Oh god. What did I say?" "N-nothing too bad. Don't worry." "Strider. What did I say?" "Well... You sorta claimed to love me... A lot." I blushed widely. "Oh. Sorry." "It's fine." There was an awkward silence. I tried to get up and immediately had to sit back down on the couch. My head was killing me. "You can stay here until your hangover is gone. Bro's not coming back for a while." I nodded slowly. We hung out for a while and watched some movies but head wasn't really in it. I couldn't stop thinking about what Dave said happened. The more I thought about it the more I realized. I did like Strider. I really did. Once you got to know him he wasn't so bad. I loved him. Finally I got the courage up and turned to Dave. "Strider, there's something I want to say." "Yeah Karkles?" I ignored his use of my nickname. "Those things I said last night..." "Yeah..?" I swallowed. "I meant them. I really do like you Strider. I love you." I was blushing heavily and so was Dave. "I... I love you too Karkat." I looked up in shock. I smiled. "I'm glad." Slowly, Dave moved in closer until our lips connected in a way that I wished would never end.