The Princess and the Wolf

Chapter Fourteen: Shakespeare Insults

When Link and Zelda woke up at the crack of dawn they immediately started to clean up camp and get back on the road to Ordon Village. Sunlight cut through the leafy canopy of branches that stretched above the forest road that they traveled.

Link had Epona at a slow pace as they lazily made their way though Faron Woods. It was silent until Zelda started to giggle for no reason. "What's so funny", Link smiled and called over shoulder.

"Oh", Zelda smiled, "It's nothing."

"It doesn't sound like 'nothing'. Come on, tell me what's so funny", Link laughed.

"If you insist", Zelda giggled. "Do you remember when Midna broke the Mirror of Twilight?"

"Hey", Link mock scolded, "That wasn't funny."

Zelda's laughing continued, "I know, I know. But what you told me after she broke the Mirror."

"Oh. Please don't bring that up", Link groaned.

"Your first words to me", Zelda laughed. "They were so romantic and poetic."

"Zelda-"

Zelda deepened her voice and tried to mimic Link, "Your Highness, your castle is full of zombies..."

Link couldn't hold it back anymore and tried to stiffly a laugh, "I was nervous!"

"Awww", Zelda swooned. "Why were you so nervous, Hero?"

"You know why", Link laughed.

Zelda smirked, "What if I don't?"

"Fine. I was nervous because you were more terrorizing than Ganondorf", Link joked.

"Faithless fools, dare to take up arms against the King of Light and Shadow", Zelda said in a deep voice.

Link laughed, "But you do know why I was nervous, right?"

"Because I was so beautiful you had no words left", Zelda joked.

"What's up with you and quoting people today", Link asked her. "Anyways, I was nervous because I already knew that I loved you."

"Aww", Zelda smiled, "You're so sweet, I love you too."

"I loved you first", Link stated with a smile.

"Well, we will see about that", Zelda replied.

"Are you implying that you have the Ocorina of Time, and that we're going to go through time and make so that you loved me first", Link joked.

Zelda smirked, "Maybe."

For the next ten minutes Link and Zelda made small talk and enjoyed the ride to Ordon. At high noon they were about five hours away from Ordon.

"So what's Ordon like again", Zelda asked Link.

Link smiled at the thought of Ordon, "Well, the people are nice. It's very beautiful and the monkeys are crazy, but nice. But still, watch out for the monkeys. They like to steal things."

Zelda nodded, "I'll keep that in mind. I don't want to spend half of my time there hunting down monkeys."

Link laughed, "Hopefully that won't-"

He was cut off when a flaming arrow flew right past them, a few inches from Link's face. Link and Zelda looked in the direction it came from and saw a Bulbin with another arrow notched in its bow.

Link quickly pulled out his bow and shot the bulbin. Soon enough, a large group of bulbins jumped out from their hiding places. Link jumped off a spooked Epona, and so did Zelda. A large bulbin on a boar walked into the clearing where Link and Zelda tried to fend off the bulbins.

Zelda took hold of Epona's reins and tried to soothe her as Link readied himself to fight. That's when Link spotted the large bulbin.

"I thought you followed the strongest side", Link growled at the Bulbin King.

King Bulbin jumped off his boar and swung his axe over his shoulder, "I believe there has been a change in power."

"What do you mean", Link asked.

"Ganondorf is regaining his power", King Bulbin explained. "All he needs now is the tears of a goddess", his gaze wandered to Zelda. Link followed King Bulbin's gaze, "Over my dead body!"

"I think we both find that agreeable", King Bulbin laughed.

Link was about to attack the large bulbin but stopped when rocks started to fly at King Bulbin. Both Link and King Bulbin looked in the direction of the rock thrower to see Zelda welding a rock in her hand.

Her face had no smile like it had minutes ago, Zelda's expression was replaced with one of rage. "Out of my sight", Zelda screamed at King Bulbin, "Thou dost infect my eyes!"

"What-", King Bulbin started to ask Link, but Link turned to him and yelled, "I'd challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see that you are unarmed!"

The bulbins looked around at each other, confused. King Bulbin shook his head and started to approach Link when Link continued to scream, "Peace, ye fat guts!"

"Peace", King Bulbin asked Link, "Ye fat guts?!"

"Yes", Link continued, "Can you remember when we made peace and now you broke it. Rude. Just plain rude."

"Excuse me, you just called me 'fat guts'", King Bulbin.

"And you just made it clear we are not friends anymore", Link retorted.

"Were we ever friends?!"

"You just crushed my chips!"

"What does that even mean?!"

"You hurt my feelings!!"

Zelda and the bulbins just stared at Link and King Bulbin bickering like children. Once the insults ceased Zelda sighed, "Are you two done?"

"Yes", Link said as he glared at King Bulbin. The Bulbin King returned the glare and swung his axe at Link who dodged and started preformed the "Helms Splitter", a technique the Hero's Shade taught him.

Zelda started to take care of the bulbins with her magic powers as they swung their clubs uselessly at her. In a matter of minutes Link and Zelda hopped back on Epona and retreated from an angry and annoyed King Bulbin and his group of bulbins.

Author's Note

For reference, I used Shakespeare Insults in this chapter which were...

1. "Out of my sight, thou dost infect my eyes!"
2. "I'd challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see that you are unarmed!"
3. "Peace, ye fat guts!"

So those belong to Shakespeare. Seriously, Shakespeare insults are the best! They just crack me up. Hence the name of this chapter: "Shakespeare Insults."

Hope you guys like the story😊