In Love With My Mobster Best Friend (mxmxm)

EIGHT: OUTBURST

Greyson Chance – Waiting Outside The Lines

∞

Coe's POV

Days passed since the night my brother and I had our 'reunion'. That's the same days that passed since my relationship with Jared had become strained. It was worse since I spent all day cooped up at home, going nowhere because of my busted leg and my bruised face. They were all taking too long to completely heal and I was starting to feel frustrated from being kept indoors and immobile for long hours each day.

In the beginning, it was out of guilt that I kept from talking to Jared too much. I was scared that I would burst out crying if Jared were to confront me again about my lies and what had happened with my brother. I was afraid that no matter how much Jared tries to convince and reassure me that nothing had changed, that he was still going to be my friend for a long time coming, I would still lose him inevitably. My avoiding any contact with him, I felt like I was delaying the inevitable.

More importantly, he might know that I am gay, but he doesn't know that I am gay for him. Not yet anyway. I fear the day that I would clue him in with my behaviour, and I don't think that he would take kindly to that. So I tiptoed around my best friend even more than I would have liked.

After some time, I started to grow anxious and ultimately angry at Jared. His words, 'I believed that after some time, after we've gain each other's trust, you'd tell me the truth' kept ringing in my head, and I was starting to wonder whether I've actually gained his trust enough, since he was keeping possibly the biggest secret from me. Honestly, not telling me that he was a mobster was a way bigger issue than not telling him that I had been abandoned by my parents because I was gay.

I spent days brewing anger and frustration about the matter in my head, and I had a lot of time every day to do that. Being kept at home with a completely non-talkative Heath would do that to you. I could sense that Heath had started to pick up on my feelings and had been steering clear of me, other than during meal times. Now, I was starting to like the sound of the voice in my head. I am going crazy.

Jared, unlike Heath, was determined to get to the bottom of it. He was making great effort to try and keep our relationship the same as what it had been before the issue with my brother, perhaps trying a bit too hard. But I couldn't see us getting back to that same place we had been. Every day that I saw his face, I either wanted to cry, or punch him in the face.  I was miserable, then I was mad. My mood was everywhere. 

"You've been avoiding me."

I shivered slightly when I felt his breath on my neck. When did this asshole make his way to the couch anyway? I needed to put a bell on him. He has been sneaking up on me these few days when I'm deep in thought and it was starting to get on my nerves. I ignored Jared as much as I could, but my body was responding to him.

Jared crossed to the front of the couch and plopped down beside me. I wiggled my nose, tempted to scoot further from him. He had just interrupted thoughts when I was in the annoyed segment of my thoughts. Congratulations Jared Jackson, now leave me alone before I glare the shit out of you.

"Coe?" He tried again when I didn't answer him.

"I'm sorry." I gritted my teeth as I apologised. I didn't feel like apologising for avoiding him actually. I just wanted to slam the pillow on my lap in his face and suffocate him to death. Maybe he'll finally understand how I have been feeling the past few days, being kept in this house, not being able to do anything, and having Heath and him hover around me needlessly.