In Love With My Mobster Best Friend (mxmxm)

NINE: PERMANENT

Media: Permanent - David Cook

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Coe's POV

My hands tingled around my wrists where Jared pinned me to the couch, the frown between his brows so pronounced that I wanted to smooth it out with my own forehead. I could do it gently with my fingers, or slam my forehead against his. Right now, the latter seems more tempting.

"You can't leave, you're not allowed to leave!" He whisper-yelled into my face as though in such close proximity, I would not hear him. Yes, Jared, keep building my resolve to head-butt you please.

I made some noises at the lack of a right word to use to express how ridiculous I felt his words were. Who was he to tell me anything? Stupid, stubborn, self-righteous asshole. I was going to leave him and he can't say a word about it because after all, he didn't trust me. Why keep someone you didn't trust by your side for so long anyway?

"Watch me." I grit my teeth and turned to look away from him. I was done. Done with having this conversation. I really wanted to be able to say that I was done with Jared, but I'd be lying so I'll just admit that I'll need some time to get over my nine-year long unrequited love.

His grip tightened and I rolled my eyes.

"You can't leave me. I'm your best friend." Jared said, as though his words was supposed to mean something. Like it was supposed to shed light onto our situation and make everything better. But that's the thing, we both know those words meant nothing. I don't even know what 'best friends' meant at this point. We were just two guys who lived with one another in the same house in the last nine years, with absolutely no sexual contact with one another. We were flat mates, maybe? Were we considered friends if Jared doesn't even confide in me about the most important thing in his life?

But my mind registered the tone in his voice. He was always so calm, collected and controlled, but there was a desperation in his voice that I couldn't ignore. I could already feel my weary and angry heart start to soften towards him and I had to force myself to keep my guard up.

"What does that even prove?! You can't possibly expect me to stay, to be okay with all of this." I turned my head to face him and my heart raced at the subdued look on Jared's face.

My wrists were starting to go numb and I tried to move my hands, only for Jared to pin them down firmly again, "Yes, you are going to be okay with it, you have been for so many years and you're going to keep being okay with it, because that's what best friends are for!"

"Regardless if I'm your best friend or not, you're in a gang, Jared! That's big!" I shouted.

One of Jared's large hand went around my mouth to shut me up so quickly that I almost choked in shock.

Jared's face was lowered so close to mine that his lips were probably going to touch the back of the hand that he had to my mouth. I was painfully aware that his powerful thighs were caging me in onto the couch, "Listen to me, Coe. Your fate was tied to mine the day that we swore to be each other's best friends, to have each other's backs forever. You stick by me for the rest of your life, no matter what, that's what you do. You don't get to walk away now."

I got seriously more worked up at his words than I expected myself to be. How dare he?! Yes, at sixteen years of age I promised this guy that I was going to be there for him forever. I probably should have read up the dictionary on what 'forever' really meant for us, and I'd admit that I was stupid enough to make such a childish and short-sighted promise. Most people wouldn't even take that promise seriously. And even if they did, it should have some clauses that include being able to back out of it if one of us decided to join a freaking gang just one year after we made such a stupid promise.