new beginnings // michael clifford

Chapter 34: Looking Up

Michael's POV

I was surprised to find out that Summer had dropped out of school. It seemed so unlike her, but after thinking about it, I guess it made sense. She had changed so much over the last year. I wanted to blame myself, but I knew that she wouldn't want me to and I would only regret it later. I knew that if I left her, I could stop causing her so much pain, but I also knew that it would bring her pain. When she said that she wanted to find herself again, it made me happy. I wanted that for her and I wanted to be there every step of the way. I wasn't sure how long it was going to take, but I loved her and I couldn't see myself without her.

We were now laying in my bed in the hotel room, huddled together. "Have you thought about what Mr. Clarke said?" I asked hesitantly.

Summer was silent beside me and I wished I could read her mind. That would make this a lot easier. Part of me wanted her to take his offer because then she could stay in LA with us and she wouldn't have to worry about school. She really seemed to like singing too. The other part of me wanted her to have nothing to do with the music business. I wasn't sure if she could handle it or that it was the right fit. Sure, she had a beautiful voice, but you had to want it too.

After a few minutes, she propped herself up on her elbow and bit her lip. "I have a little bit and I don't want you to hate me," she drew out her words, saying them very slowly.

"Summer, you know I could never hate you." I propped myself up on my elbow as well, so that I was facing her.

"I'm just not sure that you're going to like my answer," she hid her face in the pillows so I could barely hear what she was saying.

"Please tell me," I urged. "That's why I asked." I poked her sides so she had to move and finally looked back up at me.

She had a small smile upon her lips that wasn't there before. "I'm going to tell him no." She avoided my eyes as she spoke, but found them once she finished speaking.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" I moved away the hair that fell in front of her face behind her ear.

She nodded slowly. "I can't become a singer, Mikey. Yeah, it was amazing to sing in that studio and I loved it. I loved the feeling of letting go and having my emotions take over. I loved hearing that I was good at something, but its not what I want to do. I've never wanted to be a singer or become famous. I think this will give me the push to get back into playing the violin." She bit her lip again, waiting for my response.

I pulled her body to mine and her head fit in the spot under my chin. "Whatever is best for you is what I want. I'll love you no matter what and I'm going to be here no matter what. I made a promise to never leave you and I intend to keep that promise."

"You know that means I have to go back to Australia, right?" her voice barely audible.

I sighed, tears coming to my eyes. I did want what was best for her, but why was that the right thing hardest thing to do? I finally nodded, wishing that we could stay right here forever.

Summer's POV

A few days later, the boys had another day off. I mentioned to Michael that I wanted to spend some time with Calum before I had to leave and I was glad he understood. Calum was taking me to get frozen yogurt. As we walked, there was an awkward silence hanging over us.

"Calum? I'm sorry, ok? I never meant to make you think that I had feelings for you or lead you on. I was just confused." I looked at the pavement and pulled at a string on the sleeve of my sweatshirt.

"I know that. It was stupid of me for trying to kiss you and thinking that there could be something between us."

I was about to respond, but we had arrived at Pinkberry and Calum was holding the door open for me. He had always been such a gentleman. After ordering, we found a table in the back, away from everyone. I tried to find the right way to put what I wanted to say. "I don't think it was stupid. I think we both were confused about our friendship and just took it too far. I don't know if I'm saying this right," I rambled.

Calum finished the yogurt that he had in his mouth. "No, that makes sense. I don't think that I really ever had feelings for you like that, but I do love you Summer. I hope you know that. I would do anything for you."

"That means a lot Calum. Before moving to Australia, I felt that I had no one. I guess I had Adam before, but I always wanted friends and to be wanted by someone." I knew that I still had a long way to go before I was fully happy again, but I knew it would come eventually if I stopped looking at the negative.

"Well, I mean it. All of the boys are here for you. I think I knew right from the beginning that you and Michael were right for one another. You bring out the best in each other, even though you've had your hardships."

I nodded getting teary eyed. "I wouldn't have made it without you either, you know? This year has been so hard and you've never left my side. I feel like I've put you through hell though."

"It's not your fault, Summer," Calum shrugged. "So are you taking Matt's offer?" he changed the subject.

I forgot that I hadn't told him I had turned Mr. Clarke down and was going back to Australia. I hesitated before saying, "no. I'm actually leaving in a couple days. Michael just helped me book my flight this morning."

His eyes widened. "What are you going to do?"

I laughed at his bluntness. "I'm not exactly sure, but I'll figure it out. I know I can't go back to school this year but I might try and figure it out for the fall to start the year over. It's not the greatest plan, but it's a start. The singing would've been a great opportunity but that's not my thing. You guys are the ones with the music thing."

"Your voice is amazing though. Maybe you can sing with us sometime."

"Yeah, right after I overcome my stage fright. Which will be never."

Calum laughed. "Ok, Summer. I understand though. You need to do what's best for you, but I will miss having you around."

"And I'll miss being around."

*********

I arrived home three days later, completely jetlagged. I don't think I could ever get used to changing timezones so often. "Hello?" I called into my house, dragging my suitcase behind me.

Adam bounded down the stairs. I half expected Jordan to be with him, but she wasn't. "Hey, Sum. How was your flight?"

"Long," I replied, taking a seat at the kitchen table. He took a seat as well and looked at me closely. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing. I'm just trying to figure out if he hurt you while you were over there," he said honestly.

I shook my head. "No. I think everything is finally looking up. Where's Jordan?"

He let out a long breath and I noticed that his eyes were red. Had he been crying? "She cheated on me," he replied.

"Oh my god, Adam. I'm so sorry." I stood up and pulled him into a hug. "She's such a whore," I muttered.

"You were right. I should've listened to you, but don't talk about her that way. I really did like her."

I nodded. "I wish she didn't hurt you. At least she won't be in our lives anymore. I felt like she was coming between us."

"And Michael isn't?" he lifted one eyebrow.

"Adam, you know I love him and he's made up for his mistakes."

"I know, I know. I guess I'll just have to get to know the guy."

I smiled and I felt like I was finally getting my relationship with my brother back.

Hiiiii(: the next chapter after this will be the epilogue. Thank you to everyone that's read this, it means so much to me. Let me know how you think the story will end in the comments. Please vote! xx zoe