Burned (Hate at First Flight #2) ✔️

44. Making Him Faint with An Almost Kiss

One chapter
+  Epilogue
+  Bonus Chapter (Douglas' POV)
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Daddy's busy.

The silence stretched out following Douglas' words. It was so deafening and loud that it made the very atmosphere sombre and dull.

Douglas' eyes were on me, however despite that there was no light in it. It was him simply looking in my direction, his thoughts most probably twelve years away, in the past, on a single memory.

His face was sombre, filled with so many emotions in one but at the same time, it could be said that it held only one.

Grief.

Sadness.

Loss.

A million thoughts crossed my mind as I studied Douglas.

I wondered what exactly he was feeling right now, having just relived his memory by telling me. I wondered if the memory still pained him as much as did it when it had happened.

People said that time healed all wounds, but there was just some things time couldn't heal. It might help you forget, but it can never truly heal you.

I wondered if he thought it was his fault. If he ever thought of the 'what if's'. What if he had been just a little bit earlier home that day? What if there was no recital and none of it happened? What if he had just stayed home that day? Would it have made a difference? Would it have changed anything? Would his mom still be alive now?

I felt something fall against my cheeks and brushed at it. Water coated my fingers and I wasn't even surprised that a tear had broken through without me noticing.

I felt the urge to offer a solemn gesture to Douglas. A hug, a nod of understanding of a loss or just a smile to say everything will be alright. Or as alright as it could get given the course of the last twelve years.

I couldn't even picture it. Losing a mom for twelve years. Not having her around as you went through your teens years and it's struggles. Not having her be there when you first had a hangover, or when you had your heart broken for the first time or having her there for you, comfortingly say that no one was good enough in her eyes for you.

I lost my parents for only three years. Granted it has been hard, but at least I had them for almost a decade more than Douglas did his mother. I experienced my parents being there for me in situations his mother couldn't be there for him in.

Of course that didn't diminish the pain one experienced with each loss of a parent. Every loss was as painful as the next.

It just made me appreciate what I had, and at the same time made me grief over what Douglas couldn't have.

I released a quiet sigh before I couldn't help but ask the question that had been weighing on my mind ever since he had finished the story. I didn't know how Douglas would react to my question but it was a question I needed to ask nonetheless.

"How could they do that to you?" As soon as the question spilled out, I felt somewhat like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. But it was quickly replaced by a level of foreboding as to how Douglas would react to said question.

Would he react angrily? Would he yell, telling me to leave?

Contrary to my assumptions, shock etched itself on Douglas' face and stayed there for a while. He apparently hadn't expected those to be the first words out of me. He must've expected an apologetic condolence to escaped me, but it wasn't.