Myles and Cole

Chapter 24 | Cole

It was about half an hour until school started and it was freezing cold, even in the hallways of the school. I hoped the teachers would be kind enough to put on the heater in the classrooms.

Dylan and I have been having a lighthearted conversation for the past ten minutes. But I wanted to move on to a more deeper subject.

I decided I would slowly tell people about my newfound sexuality. I've briefly told Dylan about my struggles with my possibility of being gay. Now that I was completely sure, I wanted to come out to him. Telling someone you might be interested in the same gender is different than saying you're gay outright. I rally hoped he would take it well.

"Dylan?" I said.

"Yeah, man?" He stops laughing about a joke we previously shared.

"So, umm, you know how the other day I was talking about wanting to experiment with boys?" I said.

"Yeah." He nodded slowly as his eyes widened from the sudden shock of the change of subject.

"Well, I recently discovered that I'm gay." I told him.

"Oh, wow. This is unexpected. Are you sure this isn't just a phase?" He asks.

"No, it's not a phase."

"Are you sure? You know what? Maybe you're just bisexual." He stated.

"I'm not bisexual. I'm completely gay. I said before I wanted to experiment with guys, but that was the wrong term. It sounds cold and hearless to use the term 'experimenting'. The truth is, it was more of an exploration. And I've explored, and I've figured out what I am."

Dylan shook his head and let out a little sigh. "I really don't understand."

"What's there to not understand?" I asked him. "I'm pretty certain it makes sense."'

"Just that... I thought maybe you would move on from this little- whatever. I mean, it's just that you've fucked so many girls. How could you be gay?" He still seemed confused.

"Well, I never actually liked any of them. The sex was fine. I only used girls as a distraction, a way to blow off steam. That's why I was so careless and I know it sounds shallow. I realised now, that if I actually liked a guy, I would want the sex to be meaningful."

"Oh." Dylan cringed at my words, before having what looked like an 'ah-ha' moment. "But what if you liked a girl?"

"That's the thing, though. I never have liked a girl. I've never cared for them that way and I'm not going to." I stated, my patience staring to wear thin.

"Alright then, so you're gay."

"Yup."

"Wait a minute, did someone make you realize you were gay? Have you had sex with a guy?" A barrage of awkward questions were now coming my way. "Oh my fucking God! Have you sucked dick?"

"Yes- uhhh, I mean no... or yes." My mind was frazzled. I couldn't comprehend what he was asking me.

"So you haven't had sex with a guy yet? But you want to?"

This is what I get for opening my mouth. He seriously wouldn't give up but I replied anyway. "Yes."

"You didn't answer my question before. Who made you realise that you were gay?"

"Myles," I simply said.

Oh, shit. By mentioning Myles' name, I had just outed him to Dylan.