Chapter 18

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"Y/N! Thank goodness you're here," I heard Kelly breathed out in relief. I ignore her and just keep my eyes shut. "Wake up!" She shakes my body vigorously.

"Stop, let me get some sleep." I groaned and buried my face futher to my couch.

"I've been looking for you for like three straight days!" She exclaimed. "And I was trying to call you and I even sent you a hundred text messages, asking where you are or if you are okay. But it turns out that you're just staying here in your office,"

I didn't even bother answering her or speak to her, I just let myself drift off to sleep. It's been exactly fifteen days since I drop off Calhoun to the Cabellos' and Sky to my parents' house. And that was last time I saw my son and my dog. And it's been a month and two weeks since the last time I talked to Camila. After I saw their leaked texts, I tried to convine myself that she wouldn't do it to me, but a part of me was still doubting at her because she cheated on me once, and there's another chance that she would do it again.

"Get up, you have a lot of paper works to do and you've missed a lot of meetings." My secretary said.

"I don't want to get up. I just want to lay down all day," I muttered. "I don't think I can function properly. Can I just do them next time?"

"Let me think," She paused and said, "No," She said sternly.

"This is why I want Gillian to be back. She's just nodding her head in everything I said. She doesn't even protest to me, not even once." I whined but didn't move an inch.

"Because she's scared to lose her job and I'm not. So get up! Come on! Get your shit together!" The mother of two, yelled. "You haven't seen your son for what? Two weeks or so, you practically abandoned him. And also your dog. Do you even miss them?"

My mind instantly think about my son, Cal, how is he? Is he doing okay? Does he even miss me? Does he look for me? I sighed and sit up and lean my head back on the couch. I flutter my eyes open and saw Kelly with a worry and concern evident in her face. "Of course, I do. I really do, Kelly. I miss my son so much." My eyes roam around my office and empty bottles of vodka, whiskey and beers are scattered around. My head hurts as hell and I haven't even getting a proper sleep for the past month.

"Then why don't you get them again and go back to your apartment? And live like nothing happened?" She sighed and take a seat next to me.

"I want to but I can't." I murmured. "I tried to take care of Calhoun but I can't, I cannot let him see me getting drunk all night and crying. And everytime I look at him, I saw her. My heart is breaking everytime I remember what she have done in the past and these past few months." I can feel the tears forming in my eyes. "I don't want to take my anger on my three-year-old son. So I let my in-laws take care of him."

Kelly place her hand on my back and started drawing circles. "Why are you staying here? I was knocking at your apartment and calling for you everyday but no one's answering,"

"I don't want to stay there. It just made me remind of her. Our pillows and bed sheet smells like her. Everything in our apartment made me just think of Camila. I can hear her singing in Calhoun's room, I can hear her laughing in our kitchen, I can see her sleeping on our bed. I want to forget about her." I stop for a minute and look at Kelly, "I don't think I can still fix whatever happens to my wife and I."

"Are you- are you going to divorce her?" She asked and I cannot bring myself to answer.

Am I really going to file a divorce without letting her explain? I don't know. I love her and I cannot lose her and our son but I can't be with her.

I shrug my shoulders and shaky breath surpasses my lips and buried my face on my hands. "I don't know what to do. We haven't even been married for a year and this cheating shit is already happening. I want to leave her and file a divorce but at the same time, I don't want to lose her again. I just can't,"

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