Once Upon A Lone Heart | ✔

Her wishlist

It's a challenge, but wouldn't it be amazing if I could unlock his heart? Imagine if I was bound to discover the galaxy within, the hideaway, the life. Imagine if I was bound to discover a forest of beauty, an ocean of deep love, a vast of bright blue or starry sky.

I would swim in him. I would drown and let him be the death of me. At the same time, he would be the air to me, bringing me back to life. He would be the flora breathing out oxygen for me; he would be the reasons to keep me breathing.

I would get lost in him. I would run further into his woods and make a living. A hideaway. And then he would lead me back home- to his heart where it is warm and comfortable-, with small, twinkling fireflies and singing mockingbird to make me feel like I'm not alone.

I would love him in any form, and the galaxies would prove it, and it will approve us.

...

As I step in, the aphotic cave lightens, yet I am restrained to see the whole. The fire is small but the heat is great. Slowly, piece by piece I shrug off my clothes; my denim jacket, my flannel, my footwear. The further I go, the fiery it gets.

The ground is rocky, too, against my bare feet. What is this place, I wonder? Did I take a wrong turn? I ache for water, for shelter, for air, for him.

But I don't stop walking, with hope I'd find him soon.

Ahead, a tornado dances furiously, grabbing everything in sight using its fatal wings, taking them into the eye. Beyond is someplace like a safe haven.

Maybe I can make a run. Maybe I can make it.

I sprint forwards perilously- for safety, to safety- and steer clear of the vicious tornado with much hazard and effort. It becomes hard and unbearably painful the instant, and I can feel tears of fear of not being able to make it streaming down my face. I can hear my heart screaming in panic, and my head, for the first time, crying helplessly.

But I made it. Some of my cells believed that I could. A deep part within my heart knew I could. I knew I could run to him.

Though, when the tornado is far from reach, the wind blow harshly and in my thin clothes, I shiver brutally. I still walk forward- for safety, to safety. To him.

But too late do I realize that he is the one controlling the catastrophe I had just gone through. Too late do I realize that he could've saved me earlier. That he could've been the fireflies leading me to a better shelter.

"Why are you doing this?" I ask, hoping to snap him out of his fantasy. Maybe that could make him humane again. Maybe he could apologize and we'd be okay.

But with glassy eyes, he looks at me. "Who are you?"

In that moment, I know, I never should've wanted to discover him, to swim in him, to get lost in him. Now I don't even remember my way back home, and so I suffer alone in a heart I never should have fallen for, trying to retracing my erstwhile footsteps, or finding a way to move on.

---

A/n: this is a story of a hopeful and naive lover who thought she could have a chance in having her feelings returned. Be careful with your decisions: sometimes ignorance is indeed bliss.

[21/03/17]