NOVA x READER

Angst!Peter Parker x Reader

(I have a book called "anxious spidey" in which this short story is in. please check it out for more like this!)

Peter lies huddled on his bed, his head resting on his knees while his arms holds his legs close to his body. He's shaking and is covered in goosebumps. Peter's breathing gets heavier with each second passing. It's as if thousands of thoughts keeps entering his mind, but there's no exit sign in his head. Sadly, it's not simple thoughts, like to remember to put your lunch in your bag before leaving for school, or to remember your purse so at least you can buy food. These thoughts are all about Peter's uncle, his parents and every other person he has ever admired. In this case, y/n is also among his thoughts.

Just a week ago he was fine; great, actually. About a month earlier he had passed a chemistry test which he was sure he'd fail! As he arrives back home, the Tony Stark, also known as Iron Man, wanted his help. At first Tony called him spiderling, spider boy and underoos, but eventually he ended up actually calling him Spider-Man. When he came back home nothing was wrong. He went to school and was assigned homework, but he was actually really happy about it. He got to spend time with his best friend for helping him with his homework, after all.

If it'd be possible for someone to run out of tears, Peter would probably have run out long ago. Peter's angst started when he lost his uncle. Though as weeks went by, he had learned to hide his grief. Soon enough it had actually disappeared.

"Peter!" Aunt May calls from downstairs. Peter quickly wipes his runny nose and teary eyes on the sleeves of his grey sweater. He tries to keep his voice calm while replying "yes, aunt May?" The door opens and his aunt peeks her head inside. "Someone's here to see you." She says with a wide smile. Peter fakes a smile. It's the kind of smile with no affection at all, not even trying to look happy. He mimics his smile when he's supposed to be surprised. Peter waits for aunt May to announce who it is, or for the person to walk in, rather than asking who it is. He already feels his lips quivering, and he hears his own voice breaking, even though no words are spoken.

"Hey Pete," y/n says with caution. Though aunt May has known Peter for a long time, he's learned how to bluff. She's an old woman now, and to be honest, Peter's closest friends know him better than he knows himself.

"Hey..." He would've said more, but his tongue has tied knots and his brain won't function. They stare at each other for a while. Silence fills the air. "I've missed you.." She lets it slip out, though it's not even a secret. It's as if Peter doesn't listen. He's staring blankly at the ceiling wishing to be somewhere else. "Pete?" She inches closer to the tired, quiet boy. "What's the matter lately?" She slowly sneaks an arm around his shoulders. "Nothing." He whispers. He's afraid she'll disappear if he's too loud. That's what happened in his dreams anyway. His nightmares.

"You can tell me, Pete." Slowly but snugly, she pulls Peter closer. "I don't wanna lose you..." He mutters, while burying his head in the crook of her neck. "Pete... you won't lose me." She almost starts smiling. She was worried something way worse was wrong with Peter. She can easily talk to him about this. Make him believe she'll be by his side till death do them part.

Minutes pass by. The only sound being heard is Peter's soft cries. Her smile turns to a frown. "Peter.. are you sure nothing is wrong?" She starts playing with Peter's soft hair and whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Suddenly she asks "what are you afraid of?" More time passes without any conversation.

Finally Peter speaks up. "I'm afraid of losing people. I've lost my parents and my uncle Ben. Aunt May is getting old, no offence, but who knows how long she'll last. And then there's you..." No words leave Peter's mouth after that. Utter silence, yet again.

"I'm sorry I didn't speak up.. it's not because I regretted talking about you. I regret not finishing, but it's like my mouth got jammed. You mean so much to me, and I fear losing you so much... I think you've noticed." he chuckles, making y/n smile. "But you don't need to doubt I'll stay around," Peter sits up to face her. "I won't ever leave until you tell me to, but even if you do tell me to leave I'll probably stay anyway." This makes Peter laugh, and seeing him happy makes y/n happy.

Peter tries to keep his eyes shut, but he can't prevent the tears. "I find I get better when I tell people about my worries. Do you mind trying, Pete?" He sighs deeply before saying "it isn't worry, it's fear and there's more of it..." "I'm listening." y/n replies as she brushes a piece of Peter's soft, brown hair away from his face. "I'd rather just lie here.. No worry at all, just you and I. Is that okay?" She looks at him with a look of pity on her face. She slowly nods. Soon the sound of Peter's soft snores fill the room.

Peter sits up all of a sudden, tears flooding his eyes. "Pete? What's wrong?" Y/n is still here, no matter what his mind is telling him. "I h-have n-nightmares, y/n. It's always the same, yet it scares me more and more as it repeats itself." He stutters. His breathing turns heavy again and it feels as if his heart is beating faster than a cheetah running at its full speed. "Oh, Peter." She embraces him and softly draws circles on his back. "Breath with me, okay?" Peter tries to nod. "Breathe in, keep it in there buddy, I know you can." She gives him a reassuring smile, before telling him to "slowly breathe out."

Peter's breath has almost gotten back to its normal pace. He opens his mouth and speaks.

"You say you won't ever leave me, but sometimes you're already gone. Then it's my duty to come to you, and often I'm already shattered. That's when you have to make it up to me. You make me whole again."