Trying not to fall in love

I want you to want me

It was two in the morning ... Some where trying to run a way from his love I got sucked into it so deep ... It's been six weeks since I have seen him ... I miss him so much . He didn't reply to to my texts .. In these six weeks I texted him 2245 time he didn't reply .. I go to school ... There was alot of rush in the hallway . The noises were so loud ... I can see all of them crowded. In one place and the rest trying hard to get a sight .. Ring ring the bell rings no one move towards there respective. Class .. It's 15 minutes past my math class and for some reason was the only student in class .. I go out to the hall way to see the crowd which grew larger than before .. Hmm .. The principal clears his throat . Everyone scatter now .. Every body rushes. To there receptive classes as the crow clears I see Ashton .. My hear starts to beat faster and faster. I couldn't take my eyes of him .. I wanted to run to him and ask him where he was and why he didn't reply ... But he just walked away .. I tried to talk to him in lunch .. He either ignored me or gave a very cold reply . I went home it was nine o clock I was at the dinner table with my parents .. My phone beeps it was Ashton .. I put my food aside .. And tell my mom its important and run upstairs . I open phone to see a cold reply ..its none of your business where I have been or what I do .. It's was his reply to the last message I sent him .. I was blank I had no reply. Finally around 9:10 me - hey .. Why are you angry at me .. Did I do something wrong ..

Me(9:15) - I thought we were friends ?

He see the messages but he didn't reply . It was the next day he didn't come to school ... School was finally done .. Having Ashton not around made me very angry ,sad and lost ... Zach was out side to pick me up .. That's when I see Ashton our eyes meet for few seconds .. He was walking towards me .. He sees me with Zach and goes back .... I was studying that's when I get a call from val .. Hmm I say .. You idiot what's wrong with you .. Ashton loves you so much and you are just causing him pain .. What ? Come to the point .. He drank to much .. And he hurt him self with a beer bottle .. Because he drank to much and you don't like it .. His right hand is bleeding and he wont let any one come near him ... I just cut the call .. I cry to my self just imagining how much I hurt him .. I had no gut to go .. Nat come home .. Hey .. I know I can't tell thins right now .. But please help my brother please .. He hasn't eaten properly in two months .. I can't see him likes this .. Not even for his first love he went did all this and I knew he loved her a lot .. I know you don't love him but .. Tears roll down my cheek .. I do I love him ... I missed him more than I could ever imagine missing someone who mean the world to me .. Nat wipes my eyes . We both go to her place I stop in front off his room door .. Nat entries the room hey ash .. Selena wants to talk to you ... I don't want to see that bitch ... Or even her shadow .... I slept with 8 people in the last three weeks and I haven't seen a slut bigger than her ... At least they people I slept with are pretty ..i run home ... Thad opens the door .. Honey what happened he questioned .. His was not clear .. I hugged Thad as tight as I could

I didn't wnat to hurt him ... I do love him .... After 45 min I got my self to gather .. Thad made me hot chocolate with tiny mushrooms .. I told him everything .. Over dinner ..he tucked me to bed

I called Nat to check on him ... Hello Nat says in a very dull tone .. I kew she was crying .. Selena I miss my brother .. I feel so help less he was always there for me .. He locked him self inside a room and she burst out .. Hey my dad is here I will call you back . She hangs up.. After a few hours of excessive thinking .. I sneak out ... I climb to his balcony thank god it was open ... I go in I look first at his bed he is not there ... This pont I started to panic .. He was nit there in the wash room .. I ditch in lights .. I see him to one corner of his room with blood dripping ... From his left hand .. He was un conscious .. I hold his face in palms .. Ash .. Ashton .. Baby .. I am sorry .. I didn't wnat to hurt you .. I love you I love you to the world power infinity please look at me .. I give a gentle kiss on his fore head .. He tightens his grip on me he ... Ask me to stay away form him I didn't listen .. U get the Frist aid box and finish first aid to his right hand .. As i take a cotton ball to clean his left hand he removes his hand .. I don't wnat you to touch me .. Hmm many sl sluts have touched right consider me one of up .. As I touch it he removes his hand again .. Well your aren't .. Your my baby angel he says .. This time I hold his hand tight I finish first aid .. I changed his shirt because the other one had blood stains ..i see food lying on the floor .. Which I am guessing he threw it with anger on me . I go to his kitchen and heat some pizza and make him a fresh omelet and sandwich. Someone's hands rap around my waist .. I kew its was Ashton by the smell of his perfume .. He giggles I ask what its like a dream you .. In my kitchen cooking for me I actually had a dream like this except you were my wife in it .. I smile .. I got the fridge and get him and ors .. Drink I say .. What is this he asks .. Just juice .. I has sip .. Ahh I don't like the taste .. You have to finish it ash it will help you .. Fine kiss me one my forehead like before and I will finish it .. I go close to him and give him a kiss .. He hop my hand and kisses my hand .. You know you still owe me the 300 kisses from my dreams I smile i go to get the food and place it in front of him .. Hey i will call Nat okay she wanted to talk to you .. Finish it okay .. I go to get her . lights in her room are Still on .. As i walk in she was lost in here thoughts .. I give her a tight hug and bring her down. To ash .. We both come to the kitchen he put his head Down in the table .. Hey ash... Baby .. I asked you to eat the food he didn't reply .. Nat for some reasons checks his breathe rate .. Nat dates to cry he is not breathing .. Shut up Nat .. That can't be true .. He really wasn't .. I try to give him a cpr as I got close to his lips I don't want our first kiss to go like this .. I step away .. Nat hits him on his back .. So did I .. He wasn't sting the food no matter what .. So I had to spoon feed him .. Nat ate to. It took me three hours to finish feeding them both I ruck Nat to bed . I clean his room .. I know he hates to wake up in a messy room .. As he goes to sleep I sneak out .. From there go home I start studying for the trigonometry test I have .. I told Nat I Will pick her .. Only cause I wanted to give him flowers and ask him to go to the hospital for a check up .. He was a sleep so I put on his night table .. He didn't come to school .. I finished my trigonometry test. In lunch I found out he went to the doctor he was fine .. He just a fever . For some reason I couldn't eat .. So I go to his house with medicines .. I climbed. To his balcony .. And knock on the Door . I walk in to see him in bed lying underneath 3 blankets .. He says hi ... And a big grin appears on his face .. Um hey I uh I just got medicine for you .. Hmm I already I have medicine.. I kinda guessed you would have them but .. Hey can you come closer .. I do as he days He kisses me on my fore head .. I even got your favorite salad .. And a veg burger with fries .. If you aren't in the mood I got pancakes and waffles and apricot smoothie.. Hmm you didn't get donuts, pizza and .. You wnat them I ask he says know .. I am surprised you bought all this in the first place .. Oh ! Will you please ear something you didn't even have break fast.. Any thing that pleases you baby .. I give a big smile .. After having to bites of the salad .. So miss crazy stalker how did you know I skipped breakfast and how dis you manage to climb my balcony which is in second floor.. I don't no .. I .. I was interrupted by the door open .. It was his dad .. He was pleased. To see him smile .. He comes in mind if i join you .. Yeah sure sir .. I say .. Yeah sir ..you may Ashton mimics me

Very funny .. I whisper .. His dad likes pan cakes .. His dad looks at ash and says why do you love her .. He replies. Look at her pa she is my angel ... I hope no one sees me blushing .. I think i turned as red as tomato .. Why do you love him his dad questions .. Well i don't have a good answer As he does they both share a smile .. I love him cause he brings out the best in me .. Cause he inspires , and strengths me to fight for the right thing .. His dad smiles well you are .. Ring his phone rings .. Hey Selena .. Give me examples. For the above reasons why i love you .. You inspiration of the song i wrote ..you he me when things go shity like my ex thingy .. Thingy he says in a girly voice i giggle .. Stop and you bring out the best in me every day how knew i could climb a building .. Oh i want to tell this actually i love you for everything your are .. He pulls me closer ... Hey i kinda don't wnat to tell anyone we are in a relationship is that cool with you ... Why actually okay fine .