Trying not to fall in love

Find my way out ...

I finish taking a shower .. I go down for break fast .. We all sit at the table ... I was lost in my thought .. I never wanted a boyfriend. I only wanted to concentrate on my future ... When the right person come along I thought I will be happy ... I was foolish to think it was Ashton I guess .. Honey congratulations Thad says ... Huh why I ask .. For scoring good in SAT he says

Oh that okay .. Mum my slowly asks why was Ashton leaving our house at 6 in the morning with an angry look my mom ask ... He was I thought he left at the night it self .. Thad give an absurd look towards me ... Dad we didn't have sex I say ... My mom laughs ..

Yeah mom me and Ashton kinda broke up I say

Why she asks ... Um guessing differences and how I felt influenced by him ..

He was the one to ... I stop Thad no not the drugs I say it was Markus ... He made me like this ma fake ... And tears starts rolling that's when she comes and hugs me tightly that's she. That joins us ..

I went to school in my car .. I avoid Ashton even when he was sitting right next to me through Chemistry ... It was lunch .. I sit along with Nat ... I did tell Nat everything and even that i think we broke up .. Nat was sorry for me ... That's Nat who was in the lounge with everyone else come out and sits next me ... Hey baby he says ... Don't call me that I say .. Come one he says as he snakes is hand around my waist ... I saw you making out with Kaitlin when you were living I say .. Nat gives a disgusted look ... Hey I didn't kiss her she kissed me and I left as soon as her lips touched mine ... Okay ... Sorry I was a monster to you ... Please loom at me ... For Christ sake .. Ash ... After a pause I say ton see I get your just a yummy reward everyone wants to taste I get it ... I say raising my hands ... As I surrender .. Seriously you should no me better he says ... See Ashton your just guilty. Okay ... I don't know why I did them ... But I know it was cause I was very insecure that I will never be good enough for you ... I did try I failed ... I see pain in his eyes ... Now i know I am never good for you .... I hate to say this but I am sorry you had to waste time on a girl who couldn't give you wild action . But I confess ashton Carmon Ames ... I really did love you ... So much that I wished we were for ever just like one of those shinning starts .oh and I left the cheque for all the money you spent on me in you locker .... As you didn't get what you want .. Stop it Selena Nat says he really loved you ... Ashton was broken and in pain ...

I decide to go home after lunch ... I finished my pending work ... I lie one bed think why I always take things to the extreme if I love i love hard ... If I don't I hurt them bad ...

I see ashton call i pick up in the first ring ..hello i say ...hi beautiful ..hey i say ... So can we talk he says ... Um ...please if i don't tell you this i might just die as well ... I need to ask my mom ...i say .

I am doing that ... I run Down on hearing this i sign my mom.not to tell anything bout the break up to bad ... She really likes you ... So please fix water you and get back to gather .i see his eyes go through even more pain ..

So I am going I say I get in his car surprisingly he lets me drive ... His red convertible sports car ... I will tell you the directions will rust me he says ... I look at him ... And refocus my eyes on the road go left he says I follow .... He was staring at me ... The whole time ... Oh crap he spits ... I look at him ... Take a you turn he says

I do so .. And we come back to the same why traveling straight ahead I stop ... He understands .. After few seconds .. We just have to go straight .. I switch on the radio ... I met you in the dark you lot me um

Well I did Ashton says ..

When you smile over shoulder for a minute I was stone cold sober ...

That happens to me ever time you smile because of me he says