There's a party going on around me whilst I sit rigidly on the couch. Music blasting from the speakers, people chatting merrily, drinks covering all surfaces. I feel as if I'm suffocating.
"Why hello there sweet cheeks." A stranger sits down beside me, throwing an arm around my shoulders.
"Leave her alone Bret!" Mick swats him away from me and takes my arm, pulling me from the couch and out of the room, through the throng of sweaty party-goers.
Mick leads me into his room and shuts the door with a thud, instantly dulling the sounds of rock n roll.
I'm numb. I can feel nothing but shame. Everyone knows. I'm damaged goods. Useless. Good for nothing. Weak.
"Sit down, you want to talk?" The guitarist groans as he sits on his neatly made bed and pats the space beside him softly.
I shake my head no and sit beside his figure.
"How's your back?" I mumble concerned for his health.
"I'm fine, thanks. You want to sleep or do you want to talk about how fucked your life has gotten recently."
"Sleep, thank you Mick." I smile slightly.
"Hey guys what you doing in there!?" Vince yells through the door before barging in, the soft thud of party returning to a loud chorus of party.
I raise a hand to flip him off, Mick pulling the covers up and over our heads.
"If we ignore him will he go away?" He mumbles quietly, earning a giggle from me.
"What the fuck are you guys doing under there?" Nikki exclaims as he pushes past Vince and into the room.
"What does it look like Sixx, we're sleeping. Go away." I grumble. Tired and moody.
I peek over the covers to see his hurt expression before he storms out of the room back into the party.
"What even..." The singer huffs before following, closing the door and silencing the music again.
"You know he likes you right?" Mick pokes me nose.
"He shouldn't, and I need to face my brothers."
I bury my face in his shirt beneath the covers.
"Want me to come with?" He offers sweetly.
"I'll take Tommy, another new face might confuse things. Thank you though Mars."
"I gotta look after my new little sis, am I right?"
"You're a great man, Mick Mars."
I rap nervously on the door to my home before taking a step back into Tommy's side.
"They hate me."
"Nobody can hate you sweetie."
The door rips open, and Duff stands with his hair teasing the doorframe.
The bassist lunches forward and envelopes me in his arms, burying his head in my unruly hair.
"Why the fuck would you leave me, why would you fucking leave?" He whispers into ear, his grip strengthening.
"I'm so sorry Duff, I couldn't stay." My head is also buried in a mass of cigarette smelling hair.
I'm dragged into the apartment and sat onto the sofa, the bassist shaking Tommy's hand gratefully.
"Thank you for bringing her back. Can I be alone with her please?" He asks politely.
The drummer takes a step towards me, bending his height to peck my forehead.
"I'm on the other end of the phone."
After ten minutes of sitting beside each other awkwardly, I break the silence.
"Me and Axl's Mum left when we were young, she left us with our stepdad. At first he was just verbally mean to us, mainly Will. So he would leave the house a lot, go to choir, the park, meet friends. So I was alone with David a lot as a kid. He would come into my room at night... and he would, he would rape me." That's as far as I get before breaking down in tears, too afraid to look at Duff's face.
"Lex, look at me." He demands softly.
I keep my gaze firmly at my joined hands on my lap.
"Alexis. Look at me. Please." He begs, taking slender fingers and raising my chin to look towards his angelic face.
"Please."
I give in and meet his golden eyes, wet with unshed tears.
"I'm sorry Duff. I'm so sorry." I crumble at his stare, melting into his chest and sobbing uncontrollably. His own tears moisten my shirt shoulder.
"I met Izzy when I was seven, Axl was nine. Jeff was so nice to me, his parents would let us sleep over sometimes and bring food to the house for us. David would spend all the money on drugs and beer, get wasted, and then beat us bloody."
Duff squeezes tighter and sucks in air.
"You don't have to tell me everything Lex, not all at once, the guys are out looking for you. I'll ring them, you go take a shower or something. Yeah?"
"I should go Duff, I'm deadweight, I can't be in the way all the time, you guys are going to be big and famous, I know it."
"You will never be in the way, we need you. So go sort yourself out whilst I call the guys."
