Chapter 27

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Husna's POV

I quickly adjusted my hijab and redid my make up so that I could catch up with Maariah. When I entered the kitchen, Maariah wasn't there and when I asked Aunty Haseenah, she said that she had left to look for me outside.

I walked outside and pressed my finger to my lips to warn Raihaan not to make a noise. I put my hand over my heart, waved my fingers in an odd, childlike manner and gestured for him to act natural. He knew our hand signals by now, because it was something Layyah and I had invented as children and Raihaan had found our diary with the meanings.

I manoeuvred myself to the broken wooden bench opposite to where Nabeel stood. Raihaan hurried over to me, not caring about my orders. He pressed his hands over my eyes and told me not to speak.

Raihaan: Don't worry, Nabeel won't notice. He's engrossed with other things.

Me: What?

Raihaan: The other thing is Maariah

I prised Raihaan's hands off my face and told him that I would sort them out once and for all, but he urged me to be patient and see what was happening.

In the distance, I could hear them speaking.

Nabeel: Asma, what are you doing here?

Maariah: Call me Maariah. And I'm here to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life.

Nabeel: My biggest mistake was betraying you, As... Maariah. And I already did that. I'm trying to change my life now.

Maariah: Why are you wearing a thobe?

Nabeel: I SAID that I'm trying to change my life. Now leave before I make an even bigger mistake.

Maariah: You're only wearing it to impress them. And what's the even bigger mistake?

Nabeel: Hurting Husna... She's my future.

Maariah: And do you really want that?

Nabeel: Yeahhhh

Maariah: That wasn't very convincing... And you want that more than you want me?

Nabeel: No! Of course not. But I have to leave you in the past. I can't and shouldn't have you and Husna deserves someone who will love her.

Maariah: And why do you have to leave me in the past?

Nabeel: Because, Maariah, you wouldn't want me after what I did to you and I already agreed to marry Husna.

Maariah: I would have you back any day, especially now that you've changed. Why did you agree to marry Husna when you didn't love her?

Nabeel: Where did you appear from anyway? I didn't even know what happened to you, what you did for a living or studied, or even whether you were married or not. Also, I obviously couldn't be in love with Husna yet. When you have an arranged marriage, you fall in love after the marriage.

Maariah: You only fall in love in an arranged marriage if you don't have someone else that you love. How can you be with someone when you're thinking about someone else?

Nabeel: Maariah, please try and understand. Obviously I'm going to have a hint of feeling towards you because of our past and because I genuinely loved you, but now I have a better life. What do you think will happen if we do get married? I'd be putting myself in a situation where I will feel a longing for my past life. I'm done with the haraam and I want to start anew, with something totally halal.

Maariah: And you want Husna who is so halal compared to you, because of your guilt? You're prepared to hurt someone for your own sake?

Nabeel: Shut. Up. Maariah. I don't want to marry you, I want to marry her. Now leave me alone. Get over what we had. I'm sorry, I really am. I'm sorry that I made you fall in love. I'm sorry that I broke your heart. I'm sorry that it had to end that way. But it ended okay? And there is no going back now. Please just leave before I lose my cool.

Maariah: (whispers) Maybe I shouldn't have tried to explain how much I wish I had you all these years. Maybe I shouldn't have told you that you had broken your promise because you broke another promise today - never to hurt me again. Maybe we should never have met. Maybe I should just be a lonely cat lady for the rest of my life.

At this point Raihaan was so desperate to speak that he jumped off the bench and walked over to the two of them. I followed meekly behind. As always, Raihaan took charge.

Raihaan: Nabeel bro, that was cool of you. I'm glad you stuck to your guns. Not all of us can resist pretty girls eh? But you're a good guy, and I trust that you'll look after my little piece of garbage over here just find.

I stuck my tongue out at him and signed to him that Maariah was still here.

Raihaan: Maariah... I can see that this is hard for you, and no offense here Husna, I'm going to use Zaidy as an example.

I cringed as he said "Zaidy" because not only was that name the one I used when hugging my pillow version of Zaid, but also that Rai was using my crush as an example in front of my fiancé.

Raihaan: Anyways, it's natural that you'd be inclined towards Nabeel after what happened, but Allah has a plan for all of us, and sometimes who we think is in our destiny is not in fact made for us. Sometimes we have to reconsider what our priorities in life are, and to be quite honest Maariah, I don't think you love him anymore. Maybe it's just the longing for what you had?

Me: To back up what Rai is saying, I'd also like to add that if you do go into a relationship now, it won't be the same as before. Maybe you won't even like him as much. A lot of the time we think about people as being the perfect version of themselves because of who we want them to be. It's because after being attached to someone for so long, you fantasise about your relationship after marriage with them and expect it to be a dream.

Raihaan: Much like Husna and Zaidy over here.

Me: Can you stop please Rai? I can't be listening to this in front of my fiancé (blushing madly)

Nabeel laughed and I stared at him blankly

Nabeel: Firstly, it's cute that you find this embarrassing. Also it's even cuter that you just called me your fiancé. And the cutest thing ever is that you're blushing like mad.

Rai: Awww! The couple to be is having their first cute moment. Now cut the soppy stuff. You're not married yet. Maariah, I guess you just need time to digest this all. I know that I'm not your first cousin and that we aren't close so it's hard that it's coming from me, but I just want the best for you. Okay?

Maariah: I'm sorry Husna. I'm still hurt, of course, but I guess I'm being ridiculous. Old crushes die hard though. Urm, I should leave.

Raihaan: Nah, stay. We're all cool okay?

I walked over to Maariah and gave her a bear hug. No matter what happened with us, she was still my best friend, and I loved her to the moon and back.

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