Through Her Shattered Eyes ✔

Epilogue

One month later...

I drive into the parking lot for Drake Field and ease my mother's car into an empty space right beside the entrance to the place. There aren't many cars around, which, at the moment, I'm perfectly fine with. It is pretty early in the morning and the park opened not that long ago so nobody's going to be here now. Nathan chose a good time to meet me here.

I open the car door and let myself out. Taking a brief moment, I breathe in deeply, letting the October air in my lungs push against my ribs. I exhale, my breath escaping my lips slowly. I tread along the grass, going toward my destination, which is the bench swing by the lake. The blades of grass are wet with dew and it makes the ground a bit slippery. I maintain a steady pace so I don't slide and fall. The trees sway to the breeze that blows softly, almost kind of like they're dancing. The air is starting to become a little chilly and it smells more like fall; that crisp, winter-ish smell. It's about forty-eight degrees outside. It's cold enough to make my cheeks turn a light red. Goosebumps trail up my arms underneath my cashmere sweater.

It's not long before I reach the bench swing and see the back of Nathan's head. His presence makes me smile. It feels good to see him again, I haven't seen him in a while. I come around and plant myself beside him.

"Long time, no see," he says casually, smiling.

I grin, remembering when he first said that to me. It seems like ages ago. "Yeah."

I stare at the lake ahead, taking it in. The sun casts its beams on the water, making it appear as if there are millions of diamonds beneath the surface. A flock of geese flies overhead, squawking loudly. I watch them disappear into the horizon. Part of me can't believe fall is here already. It only feels like yesterday was summer. Another cool breeze blows toward us, a little harder this time. I pull the sleeves down to my wrist and rub my hands.

"So, um, how's work going?" I ask with a shiver.

"A little crazy. Not as bad as before, but still crazy. We've been trying to get things sorted," Nathan answers, taking a quick sip of his coffee. "Reuben's been real quiet. After being interrogated, he hasn't said much at all."

I nod, thinking of him. He's in jail now and has been denied bail. His trial, though, won't take place until next month. He's facing some serious charges, two counts of voluntary manslaughter, and is probably looking forward to spending the maximum amount of years in prison. Twenty, if I'm not mistaken.

Once he was taken in to be questioned, Reuben confessed to killing both Erika and Ben. With Ben, he told the investigators pretty much the same thing he explained to me and how he got rid of the body. Reuben somehow managed to place Ben's corpse in his car and drive down to the state park in Jackson. When he got there, he dragged the body far into the woods and placed it near a pile of large rocks. He tried to make it look like he fell and hit his head on one of the rocks. It would've worked out pretty well if I hadn't found the piece of dried-up blood on Reuben's trophy. Just thinking about this all over again makes me shudder. I don't even want to remember any of this. I know that's going to be impossible.

Nathan sees my bottom lip quiver. "Cold?"

I shrug. Not really the reason why my body's trembling, but it's an excuse I use. "A little."

"You wanna take a walk?"

"Sure."

We stand up from the bench and leave it behind, strolling around the lake. He wraps his arm around me and rubs my arm. It feels nice.

I've been wanting to ask him this one question for quite some time but I don't really know how to bring it up without it sounding weird. I want us to be something again. I want to rewind things a little and go on actual dates this time. I mean, we've texted and called each other a few times a day, but with Reuben's case getting in the way, we've hardly been able to spend time together since his arrest.

Though aside from all this, things have returned to normal for the most part. At least for me. Nothing out of the ordinary has occurred. I've gone back to still grading my parents' students' papers. However, I saved the grading for the evening hours. I actually applied for a job working at Starbucks full-time, which is great. It's time I earned that extra money I'm going to need for college coming up in January. It's kind of nerve-wracking to see what else life has in store for me. But I know I don't need to be nervous. I have my parents, my sister, and James to be there for me. Then, of course, there's Nathan himself, only fifteen minutes away from my house.

He squeezes my shoulder. "Would you like some coffee?"

"What flavor is it?"

"Hazelnut."

I nod. "I'll have a sip."

He hands me his cup and I take a swig of that sweet brown goodness, the nuttiness lingering in my mouth. I feel the warmth sliding down my throat and it makes me feel cozy inside. While I drink some more, I try to shake away all the bad things and live in the present moment.

I hand the coffee back to Nathan. He smiles at me and raises the cup to his lips, looking ahead of us while I watch him. I'm not sure how to act around him now. We know a lot more things about each other and we trust each other more. I'd like to be able to be my old self around him. After everything, however, I'm not sure if I'll be completely the same Alexis I was before. A few parts of me are different now.

It's then I muster up the courage to ask him my question.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you something for a while," I say.

"What is it?"

"The time...the time you kissed me...before going into that building...I, um..." I trail off, heat rising to my cheeks.

We stop walking and Nathan turns to look at me, the corners of his mouth tugging up. "Yes?"

I sigh. "I know the time you kissed me, you said you loved me. And I said I loved you. But...do you think we could really be something?"

This time, he really looks at me, not tearing his gaze away. "Do you want to try again?"

We both know what my answer will be. I don't want to be away from him anymore. Erika had brought us close again and I don't want to ruin what we can mend. Honestly, if it hadn't been for her, he and I would've never seen each other again. I also have her to thank for this.

"Yes. Yes, I do." I get on my toes and my lips touch his.

He pulls away from me briefly just to say, "Me, too."

What was the past is gone, left behind. I only have this moment and many more to look forward to. There's a new road to be walked on and I know it will take me through a great journey. There will be some troubles along the way, but if it means battling them with Nathan, then I'm definitely on board. Because I know I won't be alone.

He pulls me back to him and kisses me.