You honestly considered not passing the tapes on for a second. What you did wasn't as bad as everyone else, but the person you were meant to send them to was Clay. Unfortunately for you, the tapes also reveal to everyone how you feel about him. You would send them on, of course. If Tyler could do it, you could. Still, you felt sick in the pit of your stomach when you left the post office.
Clay had been there for you while you both tried to work through what happened to Hannah, emotionally. Now things would just be awkward, and there's no coming back from that. You were terrified of loosing him. On top of that, you never expected him to find out how you felt about him through Hannah. Especially after she....
The following afternoon, you decided to go over to Clay's house and talk to him. You had to tell him the truth, before he heard it on the tapes. When you arrived, his mom let you in and you went upstairs to his room. He jumped when he heard the door open, probably afraid his parents had caught him listening to the tapes. "(Y/N), h-hey, what are you-" He scrambled to hide the Walkman behind his back.
"It's okay, Clay, I'm on them, too." His jaw fell open, and he stared at you for a few solid and very uncomfortable moments. You plopped down on his bed; grateful that he hadn't reached yours yet, but also dreading the fact that you had to explain everything to him. "Why? what did you do?" Clay asked as soon as the shock wore off.
"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to jump down your throat, but...do you want to talk about it?" That was Clay- always so sweet, even when it wasn't easy to be. You sighed heavily, and looked down at your hands shaking in your lap. "Look I- I've already turned myself in and I'm dealing with it. I'm trying to make things right. I can't bring Jeff back, but I'm trying to help!"
"Wait, Jeff? What did you have to do with Jeff?" "I'm the one who knocked the stop sign over. I was scared, so I just kept driving. I had no idea something so bad would happen. I should have done something, and maybe Jeff...and Hannah would both be here right now." Clay took a moment to process what you'd said, and then sat next to you on the bed, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.
"It's going to be okay...I know you feel bad but Hannah wasn't your fault." "Jeff was." "Jeff...was an accident." You could tell Clay was struggling to say that. He was mad at you, but you were grateful he was trying not to show it. He knew how torn up you were. A few tears slipped out of your eyes, and you tried to hide them from Clay. The two of you sat in silence for a few moments.
"I killed them." you whispered. "We're all on those tapes. We all killed Hannah, (Y/N)" "No, you didn't I killed them both. You...you don't even belong on the tapes. Hannah says so herself!" "What else does she say?" You were a little hurt by how quickly he asked- you knew he had feelings for Hannah since she moved into town. You had to admit, you were jealous, but Hannah was your friend, too. That was always more important.
"Clay, you'll have to listen for yourself. Before you do...there's something else I think you should know." Clay sat up straight, fiddling with his hands. Bracing for the worst. "Look, I know you had feelings for Hannah...and I'm only telling you so you'll hear it from me first and not from her, but...Clay, I've liked you since the day I met you." You heard him inhale, getting ready to speak, but you weren't ready to hear what he was going to say.
"You don't have to say it, I know it can't happen and I'm fine with that! Honestly, I just want us to stay friends and for it not to be weird between us. I'm not expecting you to feel that way and I don't want to make you feel like you have to, I-I Just- uh..." You rambled and stuttered nervously for a few more minutes before you felt a light touch on your chin. Clay turned you to face him. Meeting his eyes for the first time, you felt your cheeks grow hot, which only made you more embarrassed.
"Clay, I-I'm...sorry, I don't know..." You were choking on your words, but it didn't matter. Clay leaned in closer, and silenced you with a kiss. You almost didn't feel it- your lips were numb and tingly from the nerves or adrenaline and you could have missed it, if only he hadn't deepened the kiss himself before letting you go. "Don't be sorry, (Y/N)" He told you sincerely, keeping his hand gently on your cheek.
"Yeah, I liked Hannah." Your heart dropped into your stomach. "But I love you." Instinctively, you reached for his other hand and smiled wide. He kissed you one more time, and the two of you sat there and talked everything through. The tapes, Hannah, and on a lighter note, what would become of the two of you.
He held you while you talked about the night of the accident, and you held his hand while he listened to his own tape knowing how hard it would be for him. "You know, hearing these tapes...it's been the hardest thing I've ever had to go through." Said Clay, after finishing his own. "But with you here, it doesn't seem so bad anymore. The past is the past. It's horrible, and I wish we could all take it back, but I think it'll be a lot easier to move forward with you around."
He looked over at you, that sweet and shy look on his face. You knew he was right- with Clay by your side, things wouldn't be so hard anymore. •••••••••••••••••••• 1030 Words! Helmet is so innocent! Just look at him!
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