Refresh [Izaya X OC ff]

Chapter 23

I never felt this regret in my entire life. After I declared my feeling to myself, Kadota, and Shinra, I began to see Izaya in a ... different way. I didn't like it.

Just seeing his face made my heart jumped. I couldn't keep my calm any longer if this kept continuing. 

"Whoa, are you having a fever, Keiko-chan? Your face is red." Izaya playfully spoke out as he pressed his forehead to my forehead. I blushed hard. The sudden short distance made me panicked out, but my body couldn't move. I just hoped Izaya move away quickly but instead, he looked at me while smirking. 

Urgh! He was playing around with me, at early morning! 

I began to hear a whisper passing through us. My eyes glanced at my right, spotting two girls walking ahead of us while taking a peek on us. 

"Izaya, someone is seeing us," I whispered panickily. 

"So what? They know our relationship after all." Izaya finally backed away. He huffed. "Why would you care what they say anyway?"

I decided to ignore him and pace to the school which was just ahead of us a few meters again. Screw me for letting him play with my heart.

It was only the first day yet I felt so much difference in my point of view. I couldn't stand calmly beside Izaya. Even his presence pressured me. 

This is why I lie to myself about my feeling in the first place because I didn't want to lose my view on Izaya as my best friend. Now, it's too late. There was no point of avoiding the feeling though. 

It seemed Shinra noticed my pressure throughout the class. On lunch break, he approached me resting my head on the table less spiritedly. 

"You're having a bad day? You don't look in good mood." Shinra asked, but he sounded as if he got curious rather than got worried. I sighed.

"I can't face Izaya anymore," I complain weakly. "Ever since I realised my own feeling, he seemed different to me."

"That's why love is beautiful," Shinra answered happily. He pointed out his finger and started to lecture me like a professor. "You begin to see someone in a different perspective which mean you can discover her true passion and beauty. You don't only see her outer shell, but you can see her inner beauty as well. Isn't it wonderful?"

"The hell with the wonderful thing. I don't think in the same way." I denied.

"Language, Keiko-chan." 

"I feel messed up." I screwed my hair up, messing around with it in frustration. How could I face Izaya again like I used to? I didn't like this development. "Shinra, what should I do?"

"Hm?" 

"I want to see Izaya as my best friend again." I sat up.

"You know it's impossible, Keiko-chan. Once you feel it, you want more desire. You can't simply wish to stay in the same way again when your feeling is not the same like it used to."

Shinra didn't make me feel better. Was it right for me to like Izaya more than a friend? I kept saying that in my head over and over again. But in the end, whose right to choose this feeling? Even if I hated it, I couldn't deny it. 

"What's wrong?"

Shinra widened his smile. "Nothing. She's just tired."

"Tired? Of what?" Shizuo leant forward to see my face. "Anyway, do you want to have a lunch together?"

"Ah, I eat with Mikage-" Just as I adverted my eyes to the door, I saw Mikage outside. Her back was facing me, but it looked like she was talking with someone. Then, she left. My mood went down.