Refresh [Izaya X OC ff]

Chapter 35

Time flew fast. I spent my last second year without Izaya. Since our last conversation, I cut all my connection with him. I didn't bother him anymore. I didn't say his name at all. My mind was no longer running about him. Shinra and Kadota never called his name in front of me again. They knew I would be wreck up hearing that bastard name again. 

I never heard Mikage's news after she got expelled. I could have just visited her house but I didn't dare. I felt guilty for not able to help her. I should have stood up for her in front of the principal. After all, I can be her only witness, yet I didn't do anything. Also, the last time I met Mikage, she was clearly mad at me because I reminded her of Izaya (just thinking about it made me want to sigh).

During this third-year, we were focusing on the final text and preparation for university entrance exam to those who chose to enter college as the next step. I was one of them. Though it's been several months since I wrote that on the future plan form at the second year, I still hadn't thought about which university I would like to go. Heck, I didn't know which major I should take.

Shinra suggested me to join him at Tokyo university. I wasn't sure. Tokyo university was a little bit out of my reach. I was afraid that I might not pass the entrance test. I'm not as smart as Shinra.

"Maybe you should think what's your major first," Shizuo spoke out in the middle of my conversation with Shinra. "It'll be easy to search for the university."

"You're going to college too, Shizuo?" I asked.

"No. I'm thinking to work immediately after graduation."

Such a shame. I wouldn't get more time to hang out with Shizuo in the future. He might be busy with his job.

"Keiko, why not you try economic major?" Shinra suddenly recommended. "You're good at economic. Or language."

"I'm not sure about the economic," I replied doubly.

"You can try management or accounting."

I don't know. I suck at talking with people, let alone managing the whole company. I'm not good at numbers as well, I even tend to miss a lot of dates and transaction (accounting literally needed good eyes and I don't have those.)

"Don't look yourself down first. You can be good at that two subjects. Or maybe you can look for more majors."

I admitted I was careless for not thinking of the major first and immediately straight up choosing to attend a university. I wasn't good at planning the future. I didn't have any ambition. I didn't have a dream.

I even had to console with my homeroom teacher. She told me that my grades were good enough to enter Tokyo University. She also suggested me to take home economy too since my grades were higher on that subject.

Should I go to Tokyo University?

This college thing troubled my mind a lot. I wasn't sure of what I want. My mum said to me that I should choose major that I wanted. But I didn't know.

You should ask Izaya. He knew you better than yourself, my tiny heart said. It still spoke nonsense, even after I have removed Izaya from my life. I had always depended on Izaya, maybe that was the reason why half part of me still thought of him. But I tried to brush it off. I didn't want to be involved with him again.

I decided to target Tokyo university first. I could have searched for other universities, but it would be better to know where do you want to go.

"So, you want to go to Tokyo University?" Shinra as I expected, accepted it excitedly. "Yata! I can't wait to introduce you to my girlfriend!" He lifted both of his arms, but then quickly put them down to adjust his bag strap. We were walking down the corridor to our class. Shinra and I met in front of the locker.