jungkook imagines/oneshots

everyday i love you

warnings: none it's terrible read st ur own risk
actually i wrote this like may 2017 and it's just being published now bc ur bitch gOT NOTHINGGG but i'm trying y'all i'm trying so hard
words: 800+ idk ehe

"no .. what am i going to do without you?" his voice breaks slightly and you can see him swallow the lump in his throat. you've never seen him so hurt, with glossy eyes and shaky hands. "please don't do this to me."

"i'm sorry." you shake your head and let go of both of his cold hands. "i'm .. i'm really sorry."

"no you're not." he shakes his head back and holds your hand back tighter, afraid that if you let go he'll break apart. "what did i do wrong? i can fix it, i promise. we can work this out."

"i don't want to ruin your relationship. and i am. i can't live with that. this .. this is all wrong." now your eyes are glossy, but you don't know whether you're sad or angry. "you don't need to keep fixing things anymore. it'll be much easier if we weren't friends."

"then what am i going to do?" you bite your lips together softly, an action you mindlessly do when you start to feel guilty. "i'm going to fix this, y/n. it's okay."

"no stop." you shake your head again. "stop trying to fix things that can't be fixed. that aren't meant to be fixed. look, you don't understand how sorry i am." a tear slips down on your cheek and he's quick to wipe it off with the smooth pad of his thumb. he rests his hand on the junction of your neck and jaw and soothes it tenderly.

"don't be worried .. don't be scared .. i'll sort things out. everything will go back to the way it was before."

"no it's not. stop it jungkook, just stop it." you say a little louder, and his eyes widen a little. he didn't understand why you seemed to be so hurt and upset. "can we just .. pretend that this never happened? although i spent quality time chatting with you, i'm getting pretty tired of it now. you're better off pretending that we never met. can you just pretend that we don't know each other?"

"woah, what? no. no of course not." he shakes his head in disbelief, and his eyes are so glossed up. you've never seen him at his breaking point. you've never seen him this hurt, and it kills you to know it's all because of you. "you're my best friend."

"please .. can you please just do this one thing for me?"

"no ... i don't understand you."

"you're an idiot, that's why." you take a deep breath and pull yourself away from him, the growing distance beginning to annoy him. "i don't know why you can't see it. why you can't see me. how you are so .. fucking ..." your heart leaps out of your chest and it feels like all the air around you has gotten denser. "how can i be so fucking in love with you but you can't see it."

"what?"

"just forget this ever happened. i don't want to see you anymore. i don't care ... because it makes sense. she's prettier. her hair is longer, her eyes are beautiful, her smile and her laugh are both cuter. i get it. if i were you, i'd chose her too." you put on a fake smile. "it doesn't matter to me. she's want you want."

"do you know who makes me laugh the most?" he says suddenly, before you can turn to leave. "do you know who makes me smile just by looking at me? do you know who makes me believe i can achieve my hopes and dreams? do you know whose presence makes my day a hundred times better? do you even know .. who i love?"

your heart is beating so loud you're scared he can hear it. maybe you should step back. maybe you shouldn't. maybe you can't. "you, y/n. it's you. and it's always been you. i promised myself to never get serious with any other girl unless she's you. you are all i want in my life, from your sleepy morning smiles, eye weaves laying around on my bathroom sink .. and your ideas of fun."

"why are you dating her?"

"do you know how long i've loved you for? how long i've had to put on an act? how long i've suffered seeing you every single day of my fucking life looking like the heavens had sent you to remind me of what i don't deserve?" his voice is louder now and the gloss in his eyes is almost gone now that he's been able to let everything out of his mouth rather than his eyes. "i loved you when we first met. because i knew i wanted to take you home to my parents one day. i knew that i was willing to spend the rest of my life with you.

this .. whole dating thing was meant to distract me from you. because i waited too long. i couldn't have you so i looked for you in other girls. because i thought that maybe, i was cursed to love you and the only thing i could do was find someone else that would love me as much as i love you. i love you y/n, i love you."

an: yes hi guys i wrote this a long time ago ... it's actually kind of based on a true story because it's my best friend's experience (except she didn't love him back yeah) and mine merged together. it happened a really long time ago and i went though it in my unpublished works and i think i'm ready for it to be told. i'm so sorry for not updating for a DECADE, i'm still active & trying my best to reply to everyone though! thank you for your support :)