jungkook imagines/oneshots

what do i have to do to make you love me?

warnings : none but tHISBIS BADDDDD
word count - 1100

"are you cold?" he says in a serious tone, still holding his cold beer in his hand but wishing he had replaced it with water before instead so that it could be washing out the alcohol in his bloodstream right now.

"no, i'm okay." you say a little louder than a whisper, not really wanting to talk to him.

"you're shaking." he says obviously, pointing at your bare arms that have goosebumps all over them. if you had chosen to stand somewhere darker, maybe he wouldn't have recognised you or approached you like this.

you sigh and the look in his eyes almost knocks out all of the air in your chest. you remember he hates it when you sigh. "then why did you ask?"

"im sorry. just let me take you home please. it's cold and you're ... you're in that dress and you're barefoot. i don't know whether you've had anything to drink or not, but you look vulnerable. too vulnerable. i don't want you to get hurt. here, take my jacket." his voice grows weaker the longer he speaks for, as he tries to not think about how much it kills him to talk to you without feeling shameful. he shrugs off his warm coat and puts it around you. you were too cold to prioritise your pride right now.

"you say that like you've never hurt me before." you look down at your bare feet, toes painted a baby pink. you had taken off your heels a while ago, figuring they were causing too much pain. "i'll be alright. it's not like you can do anything for me with alcohol in your system."

"okay .. at least let me call you a cab."

"i'm very much fine doing that myself, jungkook. i'm not a baby anymore. i'm not your baby anymore. i can take care of myself." you say strongly, proud at yourself for not stuttering on your words like you usually do when you look him in the face and say something.

"you make me so worried, y/n." he sighs, moving to the empty spot beside you and leaning his head against the wall. "you know, i still care about you so much."

"yes, i know." you mutter quietly, but he still hears it and it breaks his heart.

"do you remember when we first met?" he says as he peers up into the night sky full of stars and then back to you with so much love in his eyes. he still looks at you as if you had put up all the stars in the sky and held moonlight in your hands. you don't reply to him, so he continues. "i do. i remember the day we met like the back of my hand."

you take a deep breath, and the air you had previously warmed up inside in replaced with cold air. like regret. you were much colder now. "do you remember the first thing i said to you?" he goes on and this time, you reply.

"yes. you told me i was the most beautiful girl you had ever seen before."

"and you are. still this day. you know that, y/n?" he smiles  again, the type of smile only you can make him have. you can't help but smile too, reminiscing back to the time things were less hectic and he wasn't poison to your heart. "gosh, every time you smile like that. you take my heartbeat right back to the one before. i feel the same way as i did that afternoon in the coffee shop. the feeling just doesn't go away. i can't get tired of you. did you get tired of me?"

"no. i wish i did, though."

"it doesn't have to be like this, y/n."

"yeah it doesn't." you say with a tight smile. "but it is. and it's too late. there's nothing you can do about it."

"i don't get it, y/n." he shakes his head and closes his eyes for a second, mind wandering to all sorts of things he didn't want to think about. "does it hurt that much?"

"yes. you don't just .. how can you forget that you love someone when you're drunk?" your voice is weak, and everything about you is like fragile glass right now. you feel like you are going to shatter any moment. you just want to be held by him. held by the jungkook who hadn't cheated on you. "you don't even have to explain yourself. there isn't any explaining to do."

"please, y/n." his eyes grow watery and the gloss of tears points daggers into you. looking at him, all hurt like this reminds you of yourself when you'd first heard the news. it's like standing on a battlefield alone, constantly being shot by tens of people and unable to move a muscle to protect yourself. "please don't do this. we can make this work this time."

"no we can't. you forget that you love me when you're drunk. you don't love me enough. you forget that i'm waiting for you at home when you're drunk. you don't care about me enough. you're always going to be like this, jungkook. and i'm never going to be enough no matter how beautiful you tell me i am. the next time you are in a relationship, tell her how much she means to you and how much you love her instead of how beautiful she is. she can always tell herself how beautiful she is, but she will never, ever be able to tell herself what her value to you is."

"then i'll stop." he says suddenly, breaking the growing silence that was pushing you to leave a moment ago.

"you'll stop what?"

"i'll stop drinking. i'll drop this habit if it means we get to have a second chance." he says in a serious tone, looking at you right in the eyes as he does so. you blink two or three times, before stuttering your words out.

"you'll — you'll stop drinking? you can't. alcohol runs through your veins. it makes up your blood. you're made out of it. there's no way you could ever stop."

"baby, if it's for you. anything is impossible. i don't need alcohol when i have you. when i have you it's your love that runs through my veins. i promise we will work out this time. i know you still love me, and i sure as hell love you. so please, y/n. let me prove to you how much you mean to me. how much i love you."

an: gross what is this ending but it's 2am and i wanna wake up early to watch some anime & study tomorrow so IM OFF BOIS!! i hope u like this thing whatever it is i don't necessarily like it but i would like to hear what you guys think. i'll try update as much as possible this weekend but we'll see how that goes with my workload ... :0

i might fix up & change the ending when i wake up to see what mess i have written and an able to think with rationality xD