DAWG

Eyes, Wide SHUT

She's toxic.

It's as if she withholds a substance so lethal that it remains undetected until she's close enough to do as she wishes.

She did.

She had me sitting there for an hour after she left, rendered speechless.

What could I say?

I couldn't take what she was so willing to share, couldn't take her making me feel like there's something out there other than what I've become accustomed to.

Intimacy, it was so heavy.

It thickened the air between us.

I was almost willing - internally begging her to show me what it's like to truly feel, but I couldn't. She's of too much value and I won't hurt her.

Damn.

Now she's all in my system like she has every right to be, like she's supposed to be there.

Her faltering guard was in her eyes, she was falling. I can't let her though. I don't want to cross any lines with her, because I don't want to take advantage of her heart. I can't be responsible for taking away what she believes so much in - LOVE.

I'll fuck it up.

But you haven't even tried, that's what my conscious says.

What if?

What...

If...

It felt like she was looking through me at an attempt to pull out this other side of myself that I haven't began to associate with.

Even still, he seems to be surfacing anyway.

Why won't he just go away and let me be who I think I want to be?

Again, I refuse to open myself up and she sends the muscle in my chest into overdrive - with those eyes - those daring depths of energy that dare me to let her be something more to me.

But...

I shut everything out, back to reality, to the part of my mental that makes me feel secure.

-Zayne