no homo // larry stylinson ⚣

Act I: Scene Five

ACT I
— Scene 5 —
P O V :  L O U I S

I was sat on the couch, flipping through the channels, bored out of my mind. I'd gone through so many channels, that I'd reached the stupid teleshopping ones. I was about ten minutes into a hair dryer advert, when I felt my phone buzz in my jeans. I pulled it out of my back pocket and looked at the top of the screen, which read "Mum". I grinned and sat up straight, turning off the TV.

I swiped to answer the call and a low-quality image of my mother appeared.

"Loo-ee!" her pixelated mouth exclaimed. I sent her a weak smile in return. "Hey mum, how are things back home?" I asked.

"Oh, just great... But enough about me; how are you? Have you been eating well? Getting 8 hours of sleep? Taking your vit-"

"Yes, mum. No need to be such a helicopter parent." I replied, cutting her off. My mum has always been super protective of me. Ever since I moved to Newcastle, she's checked in with me almost every day. It's nice, but also a bit of a nuisance.

"Alright, you know I just want to make sure everything's okay; I haven't heard from you in forever!" She beamed. I scoffed, "If three days is forever to you, then sure, it's been ages."

She laughed and continued, "So, anything new? Are you still working at that pet store?"

"Yeah, I am. I love it there, it's a shame I'll be leaving-" I cut myself off. "Wait, I haven't told you yet..." I started, already seeing confusion written all over her face.

"Are you quitting? Getting a job somewhere else? Please don't tell me you've become a prostitute." She half-joked, trying to hide the panic taking over her. I laughed, shaking my head, "No, of course not; you know I'm not like that... But there's something I need to tell you."

"What, are you pregnant?" My mum shrieked. I could hear Lottie yell from across the room, "Mpreg!" I think she read too much fanfiction.

I scratched my head and continued, "I'm moving..."

My mum's eyes widened, "Oh dear... what about your girlfriend, Gracie, right?" Oh lord.

"First of all, her name is Grace. Secondly, I'm gay. And no, she'll be staying." I replied as Grace walked through the door with her arms full of groceries.

"Hey dick-face, guess who brought you some hummus," She yelled like the annoying shit she was. I shot her a death glare, and signalled her to stop talking like that in front of my mother. Grace's mouth formed an "O" shape and she nodded in understanding.

"Ooh, hi Jay!" She called out. I pointed the camera to Grace as she smiled and waved. After setting the groceries down on the counter, she plopped down on the couch next to me.

"Louis was telling me about how he's planning on moving soon," My mum said.

"Right, we still need to work out the details of it, right Louis?" Grace asked, turning to me.

"Uhh, about that..." I started, sinking back in my seat, "I found a decently priced flat in London, actually." The two of them looked back at me in shock.

"What?" They shrieked in unison. Grace continued, "Why haven't you told me about this?"

"Well, while you were out with Melava-" I started. "Melava?" Grace questioned, cutting me off. "Yeah, like Malec, you know? It's Melina and Ava's shipping name, is that what you call it?" I responded.

My mum looked very confused. "Lottie, is your brother on drugs? What's this whole 'shipping' thing he's talking about?" Lottie laughed, "No, mum. Don't worry about it."

"I'm a bit concerned, but alright..." She trailed off. I cleared my throat and started again, "Anyways, you're missing the point. While Grace was out for the day, I found an amazing flat in Camden. No biggie." I shrugged.

"No biggie? This is a big biggie," said Grace, frowning.

"Like my di-" Lottie started. "Lottie, I swear to God, if you finish that sentence you'll be grounded for a month," My mum yelled.

I took a deep breath, trying to prepare myself  for what I was about to tell them, "I'll be moving in two days, actually."

"What? You can't just leave so quick without even telling me," said Grace, clearly hurt.

My mum agreed, "Why do you have to move so suddenly?" I could see tears welling up in her eyes.

"I'm sorry it's so soon, but I promise to visit both of you often. It's only a few hours to travel to both of you." I said, trying to calm them down. "Alright, have you even started packing?" My mum asked. I shook my head.

"Don't worry Jay, we'll figure it out tomorrow," Grace reassured.

"I know I always count on you Gracie, you've always been the perfect girlfriend for Louis," My mum said. Grace and I cringed.

"He's gay, Petra!" shouted Lottie from behind, and Grace and I both laughed. "Who the flap is  Petra? Is that one of your internet meh-mehs?" She said, trying to pronounce "memes", "Oh right! Petra the frog, right?" Lottie facepalmed and muttered, "Please disown me."

After trying to explain internet culture to my mother, we hung up. I put my phone back in my pocket and turned to Grace.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked. She looked at me and scoffed. "What is this, fifth grade? Of course I'm not mad at you. It's just a lot to take in, you know?" I nodded in understanding, and showed her some pictures of my flat online.

"What part of London is this?" Grace asked.

"Camden," I replied, "I've heard it's very artsy... and vegan."

Grace's eyes lit up, "Forget visiting Newcastle, I'd like to visit there!"

I laughed, and texted my mum the link to the real estate website we were looking at. In less than a few minutes, she responded with a dozen articles about how Camden was 'unsafe' or a 'drug neighbourhood'. Grace and I laughed hysterically, because the response was so predictable.

AN: This was a pretty short, uneventful chapter, but I hope you all still enjoyed it! Tomorrow's chapter is wild, so get ready :)

— Ava and Melina