I had been here at the hospital about 2 hours now and my pains had stopped a little while ago, but the doctor had ran some test on me and I couldnt leave until he got the results back..now that I think about it..It was probably only heartburn I did have left over chinease for breakfast thats never smart...
"Mommy..ok"
CJ said crawling up the bed that I was sitting on and placing his little body on my lap
"Yeah CJ mommies fine"
I said while adjusting him..
"The doctor said he would be in, in about 10 minutes I just saw him in the hall"
Tyra said coming back into my room..and sitting down...
"So what you think is wrong with you"
"Nothing, I had the wrong thing for breakfast probably caught up to me thats all"
I said removing CJs hand from around my earring..
"Well you nee dto start eating a real damn breakfast then, you cant be scaring me like that yo, you know how scared I was"
"Awww look it..I knew you cared..you love me..I knew it"
"Naw, I just didnt want you to die before you let Shawn hit it and be able to tell me about it"
I turned my bace up and her and rolled my eyes, she laughed..Thats when the doctor came walking into my room with my chart in his hand..
"Hello Ms.Knowles how are you feeling"
"Better, can I go home now"
"Not quite, we need to talk first"
"Ok..but its not serious though right"
"Actually it's very serious"
I looked at Tyra and she stood up...
"Maybe I should take CJ down to the cafeteria, so you cna talk..come on lil man, lets go get something to eat"
She said taking him from me
"Ill be back"
She said touching my leg, I nodded and she walked out the room, the doctor went and closed the door and came back and sat in front of me in the chair she was sitting in..I turned and faced him..
"Alright..give it to me straight..whats wrong with me..."
Couple of hours later at home..
I hadnt said a word since I left the hospital..I figure If I dont speak the words then it wont be true..Tyra tried to get me to talk to her but I just wasnt ready to admit to here what he told me..So I said it was nothing...I dont think she bought it, but she hadn no choice, she knew if I didnt wanna talk about it there was nothing she could to make me...Shawn should be here in about 15 minutes, I have a feeling Im not going to be much company right about now...
"Look"
CJ said holding up a piece of paper he scribbled all over..he brought it over to me..I took the picture from him and picked him up and sat him on my lap..Look at him just made me wanna cry..Im all he has..why in the hell couldnt that doctor could have lied to me, that would have made my day a whole hell of alot easier..I guess thinking about it got to me because next thing I know there were streams of tears coming down my face...
"Mommy..sad..mommy no cry"
CJ said standing up on the couch and facing me..
"Mommys gonna be ok CJ"
He kissed my cheek and patted my head..
"Mommy feel better"
I laughed and nodded and pulled him down on my lap
"Yeah baby thats just waht mommy needed, I feel alot better now"
I said tickling him, he started laughing about 10 minutes i nto our tickle fight the doorbell rang I new who it was so I st CJ down and went to get the door, Before I opened the door I checked the mirror to make sure that my eyes werent read and the coudlnt tell I had been crying..Once I got that all clear I threw on a small smile and opened the door..
"Hey beautiful"
He said coming in and placing a kiss to my cheek
"Hey yourself"
I said shutting the door behind him, he walked over to CJ
"Hy big man, whats going on with ya lil playa"
He said pucking him up and poking him in the stomach..CJ laughed..
"Hi, big man"
CJ said to him trying to copy, He laughed and set him dwon and then sat down..
"So what movie are we watching beautiful lady"
"Um..how about you pick it really doesnt matter to me"
I said sitting down beside him..He got up and walked over to the stand next to my tv and started going though my movies..
"How about Madea Goes to Jail"
"Sure"
I said not looking at him..he took it out the case and popped it in..CJ climbed on my lap and Shawn came and sat next to him, I laid on my head on his shoulder as the movie started, but honestly the movie was teh last hting on my mind..I was in a whole other place the whole night..I know one thing I need to start making some kind of plans and soon..
