When I woke up this morning I swear I thought that everything ghat happened that previous day was a dreamb ecasue when I looked over no one was there and i didnt remember coming up to bed last night, I got up and went down to CJ's room he wasnt in there, but I heard laughing coming from downstairs..I walked down tehre and him and Chase were sitting on the floor tossing blocks at eachother..I couldnt help but smile as I came the rest of the way out..I walked over to CJ and bend own and kissed his cheek..
"Morning baby"
I guess it was force of happy, seeing Chase took me back because I kissed him as well, I think it took him by surprise..
"Morning"
I said getting back up and smiling he just smiled back
"I hope you dont mind, when I woke up this morning he was standing at the foot of the bed, so I brought him downstairs and took you up, I didnt want to wake you, you looked like you were sleeping good, i fed him and everything"
"Of course not Chase, why would i mind, he's your son too"
He smiled at me and looked down at CJ and started playing with him again..I walked into the kitchen and put on some coffee..While I sat there and waited for it to get done the phone rang..I looked at the Caller ID on the wall, It was Shawn..
"Would you like me to get that"
He said yelling from the living room..
"No thats okay just let it ring"
I know its wrong to avoid him right now, especially now, but I dont know what I would say to him anyway..He is working on a big case anyway, he probably will get busy with that and not even notice..least I hope so..I walked out the kitchen..Chase was sitting on the floor by himself..just staring at this block on his hand...
"Where's CJ"
"Huh"
He said looking up and breaking out of his trance
"Where's CJ"
"Oh, he went upstairs to get this picture he drew"
I nodded..
"Are you alright.."
"Yeah, im fine..its just me sitting here playing with him...I know I've missed alot, and its getting to me, i cant remember the day he was born, or the day we brought him home from the hospital, you said we use to stay up all night with him together, and I cant even remember that..I dont know it just makes me feel like a bad father"
I walked over to him and put my hand out for him to take it, he grabbed it and I helped him up..
"You listen to me, thats not your fault ok, you are not a bad father, because you were there for all that stuff, you were a great father and you sitting here playing with him, says that you still are, you will remember all that stuff one day, and now you have to chance to make even more memories and I think thats what you need to look foward to , all that will come back to you in time, right now, make new memories, I can see the way you look at him you love him to death and no memory loss will change that, and I know he feels the same way..so dont even worry about it ok"
He smiled
"Ok"
"Now can I ask you something"
"Sure go ahead"
"Do you love me..I mean I may not remember much, but I know its been a long time, you had to meet somebody, and I got a feeling that was who just called , i understand you thought I was dead so it would only make sense.."
I looked down and he lifted my chin back up..
"Whats his name"
"Shawn"
"Do you love him"
"I might..but its not that smiple, because I love you too Chase, you are the only man that I have ever loved and you were ripped away from me...but I never not for one second stopped loving you and now that your back..I.."
He cut me off by pressing his lips up against mine..He may not remember anything right now..but his kisses were exactly the same..they still were able to take my breath away and make me fall in love with him all over again..I got lost in it until I felt somebody tugging on my leg..
I Looked down and CJ was standing there with his hands over his eyes...
"Yucky"
Me and Chase both laughed..I bent down and picked him up...
"See"
He said handing the picture to Chase..He took it and smiled at it
"You got talent mini me"
He said poking him in the stomach..I got this huge grin on my face and Chase looked at me..
"What"
"You use to call him that all the time"
"It kinda just came to me..."
I touched his face..
" I told you it would come back to you...you just had to give it time.."
"Well im ready to start making new memories too, so why dont me you and mini me do something today.."
"I'd like that...you wanna do something with mommy and daddy today CJ"
"Yay!"
He yelled and clapped his hands..
"I take that as a yes"
I said laughing..
"Why dont you go up, get him bathed and dressed then you can do the same, Ill get the numbers for you family, so you can call them and talk to them, while im in the shower, the we can go do something, maybe go to the park or something.."
"Ok"
I turned and went to walk away but he grabbed my arm..
"I love you"
He said in all seriousness..I turned around and ran my hand down the side of his face and landed it right up under his chin..
"I love you too..now go get dressed"
He nodded and walked off up the stairs with CJ after I handed him to him and I walked into the kitchen..
