2 Months Later...
You dont know how good it felt to be able to be up and move around...and just to be able to live my life..once you come close to losing everything, you never realized how blessed you are to be able to do even the smallest things..and now I do..I told myself after I was released out the hospital that I would live everyday as my last and I have..I've also been doing alot of thinking about Chase..and Shawn..and Me..and where exactly they fit in my life...and i've finally made a decision..I love Chase...always have and always will, he is the father of my son and he will always have a special place in my heart....but Shawn...im in love with him..and he owns my whole heart..whether its mine or not...Hearing about what he did for me and everything just made me realize how much he loved me and showed me how stupid I would be if I let him go...Me and Chase have a past...but I want to build a future with Shawn..and now that I know that..I need to let them both know..Im going to tell Chase first though..because I want everything to be perfect when I tell Shawn that its him that I want to be with....
"Bee can we talk"
Chase said coming into the living room and sitting down..I turned to him on the couch and folded my leg inward..
"Yeah..I actually need to talk to you about something important anyway..but you go first"
He nodded and started rubbing his hands together..
"I never thought I would ever actually being saying this..."
"What..is something wrong.."
"No not really wrong..just not meant to be"
"Chase what are you talking about"
"Well..its like this..you know I love you Beyonce...and you know if I could I would spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy..but I cant do that..because..things arent like they use to be...I know you love me...but its not the same as it was before..I know Shawn is who you want to be with...I see how you look at him..and its how you use to look at me..and I think its time for me to just be man enough..to move aside and let you be happy..so i've been thinking..and I think its time that..I move out..get my own place.."
That was honestly the last thing I expected to come out of his mouth..but he made it so much easier on me by telling me this..because I swear I didnt want to hurt Chase...so he just lifted a big load off my shoulders...I smiled at him and reached over and grabbed his hand...
"You know no matter what..I will always love you though dont you, your CJ's father and my first love and nobody or nothing will ever change that, not even Shawn.."
"I know"
He said giving me a smile..I leaned over and kissed his cheek..I got up and went to walk to the phone..I know I said that I wanted to wait to tell Shawn, because I wanted it to be a surprised..but right now im just too excited..I had to tell him now..
"Can you atleast wait till i get out the room to call him"
Chase said standing up and laughing...I looked at him and smiled
"Sorry"
He just shooks his head..
"Im going go start lookin for apartments..."
He grabbed his coat and went walking for the door..but he stopped and turned around..
"I love you Beyonce"
"I love you too Chase"
He nodded and walked out the door and I picked up the phone before the lock even clicked and dialed Shawns number...It didnt take long for him to answer and once he didnt I couldnt help but get a smile on my face at the sound of his voice..
"Hello"
"Shawn its Bee..I need to talk to you"
"Whats up..is something wrong"
"No..its about me and you..I made my decision and I want to tell you face to face..what it is, so can you come over here..."
"Yeah..I was just about to leave the office...ill come right over"
"Ok..ill see you then"
"Alright.bye"
"Bye"
I hung up the phone...with this million dollar watt smile on my face..I walked into the kitchen and CJ was sitting there at the table by himself..
"Boo what are you doing in here..all alone"
I asked him before kissin the top of his head..
"Im hungry"
I laughed and shook my head at him..
"Alright, ill make you something really quick, while I wait on Shawn..what do you want"
"Ice cream"
He said slamming his hands on the table and laughing
"A sandwitch it is"
He looked at me with this crazy face...I just laughed and started to make him a sandwich...
