All At Once (Completed) - Finding You Book 1

Camden

She's gone.

I fall back onto my bed and press my palms into my eyes. What have I gotten myself into?

Chase is only fourteen-years-old, but he's already been through more hell than I have in thirty years. My life hasn't been a picnic, but my fear of attachment has nothing to do with childhood trauma. You know that spark everyone talks about? I've never felt it. At least not until recently.

Things were getting pretty jumbled with Harper. She's a firecracker in bed, but her smile is nice and before I realized it, I was looking forward to seeing it.

Listen to me. Jesus. I sound like a sap. It's probably best she bailed before I started breaking the rules I promised I wouldn't.

My phone rings, the screen lighting up with my Mom's face. I take a deep breath before answering.

"So, about your brother," her voice is shaky. "I just can't believe it. He's been doing so much better lately. No doubt that devil woman had something to do with it. He's been set up,"

My mother is my heart, and the only person I trust to keep a secret, but she's always worn rose-tinted glasses when it comes to Andrew. He was their miracle baby after five years of trying. Four years later, I was their accident.

"Can't say I'm surprised," I say honestly. "Last time I talked to him he was still following Jenna around like a lost puppy. I guess their divorce was just a formality. That idiot's going to end up dead if he keeps it up. And Chase...well that kid's been shit-out-of-luck since the day he was born,"

My biggest concern is that I'll screw him up even more, but my Mom acts like this is some blessing in disguise.

"You've got a lot of opinions, considering you haven't spoken to any of them in two years," she says bluntly. She's right.

"And it's a good thing, too. If Andrew and I were still best friends, this would kill me, but I've learned not to trust him. When I told him my feelings, he laughed. It's as simple as that, Ma. I feel bad for Chase, but sympathy doesn't mean I'm prepared for this,"

"People make mistakes, Camden,"

"He screwed up. Guilty or not, he stayed involved with Jenna, and he put himself and their son in danger. You have to come to terms with that,"

"I'm trying," she says softly, "But If I allow myself to believe Andrew's guilty, I'll have failed as a mother. I'm quick to forgive,"

"Yeah, well forgiveness isn't the issue. I'm the one left picking up the pieces,"

"You're sweet to me, Camden. You're a good man. If you'd just let yourself be happy...settle down, find a nice woman..."

"I am happy," I say quickly. "My life was perfect. I like being single, and coming and going when I please. I like eating whatever I want for dinner every night, sometimes at 1 in the morning. I'm not the best guy for this job," I tell her. "I'm not good at the tied down thing. It's why I don't have pets,"

"You're the only man for the job. You're his godfather, Camden. When Andrew asked you, you were thrilled. Remember?"

"Years ago, before I knew he'd lost his damn mind. I was 16 when Chase was born. I didn't know the responsibility I was taking on. His godmother is a better choice. Leslie's more fit to take care of a child than I am. She has two of her own kids. What's one more?"

"Leslie is Jenna's best friend, Camden. She doesn't agree with her lifestyle, I'm sure. But she's known the girl since she was six. I can't help but think Jenna would convince her to let her see him, and that would make it worse. Like you said, Chase doesn't need more drama than he's already dealing with,"