All At Once (Completed) - Finding You Book 1

Chase

A/N: Who's excited to hear from Chase? I really love writing this kid, and I'm really glad to finally get his chapter in! Leave a comment and let me know what you think! He'll be back again with future chapters. 

I do as Camden asks and get my shoes on. I've got practice soon and my head is everywhere but baseball. He's talking to Harper on the phone right now, and my stomach is swirling. I might already be regretting my plan. 

This sucks.

I'm screwing everything up, and I didn't realize it until last week. I'm hurting Harper just by being here; I remind her of her dead son and there's nothing I can do to change that.

I went to my room the other night, acting like I didn't want to hear the story of how it all went down. The truth is, I listened through the door. I heard every single painful word. Heard her sobbing, and it was ten times worse than what I saw in the car.

I wanted to hear what happened so I can understand her better...so I don't say the wrong thing. I just didn't want her to see my reaction.

I was afraid for her in the car the other day. I've never seen her that way. And to realize I triggered that? To realize every day she spends with me only takes her back to those memories? I can't do that to her.

I'm not good with emotions, and death isn't something I'm comfortable with. It reminds me too much of the too much of the fears I carry about my mother. One day she'll overdose. One day she'll really be gone. Will we make amends before that? Will I ever have a real relationship with my own mother...the kind it seems Harper had with her son? These aren't questions I voiced, but they eat at me slowly after moments like that.

The truth is, Harper isn't just Camden's girlfriend anymore.

I've learned to trust her and look to her for advice, but it's harder than ever now that I've heard her story. She has the best advice. She makes me feel safe. She's motherly to me, even though I now know how much it must hurt. And I crave it - that mothering she gives me, because I've never really had it before.

I bet she was a really great Mom, and I'll bet that kid would be cool as hell if he'd gotten the chance to grow up.

Camden is cool, but I feel like I have to be tough around him. A man - not because he makes me feel that way, but because I don't want to disappoint him. I want to prove to him that I can be strong.

He's trying to protect me from my past. Trying to make sure my future doesn't turn out like my father's. He wants to instill honesty in me. He wants me to be a stand up man, even when it's hard, because that's what he'd expect his son to do if he had one. Instead, he has me.

He yells because he's terrified, not because he's mad at me. He's terrified because he loves me.

I know exactly how he feels.

With Harper, I feel like I can be myself. I know she's always going to give me an honest answer, even when I don't want to hear it. She's strict, but sensitive, and it's strange how calm she makes me feel.

I feel like I've never really had a Mom. I haven't known her long, but Harper is the closest thing I've ever had to a mother.

She's really pretty, but play that up way more than I should. Another secret? I'm just so damn happy to have them. They're young and fun and I'm happier now than I think I've ever been.

I've only been here for two months, but I know they're in love. I may be young, but I can see the change in them. Everything is different now than it was when I first got here.