All At Once (Completed) - Finding You Book 1

Harper

My eyes crack open. The sun is too bright, but the man I'm staring at is incredibly sexy in the morning, and it's enough to cheer me up.

"Morning," he says sleepily. His hair is sticking up in all directions again...just the way I like it. I smile.

"Okay, listen," I say yawning. I press my chin into his bare chest and look into his blue eyes. "You can't let me go to sleep without brushing my teeth. I'm gross,"

"You barely made it to the bed. I need to put some bumpers on the walls if you're going to be using that key," he says with a smile. "And your teeth are fine. You were so out of it I'd have had to brush them for you. I like you and all, but I don't think we're quite there yet," he winks. I roll my eyes and he kisses my forehead. "Try Chase's room. Top of his dresser. I bought him like three when he got here, just in case. You know, soft, medium, firm...everyone's different,"

"Wow," I tease. "How thorough of you,"

"Mock me all you want, but your breath will be fresh because of my paranoia," he leans in and kisses my lips. He's even braver than I thought.

"Go ahead. I saw one in the package on his dresser yesterday," he says, throwing back the covers to startle me out of the bed. His eyes sparkle when he teases me. I love it. I love him so much.

"Don't be cute. You let me be gross and that is not cool, but I slept like a rock," I tell him. "I could get used to your bed..." I tease, scampering out of bed down the hall to Chase's room.

It feels so empty without him. I head to his dresser, but my eyes catch on his bed. There's something on it. Two envelopes. I recognize only one of them, and it's open.

My heart is pounding. I lift both envelopes slowly, and somehow my feet carry me to Camden's room. I feel sick. Something is wrong.

Camden's still in bed when I enter, but when he meets my eyes, his face falls.

"What's the matter?" He asks quickly and I walk closer, handing him the envelopes.

His eyes mirror mine; I'm terrified.

"Jenna's letter," he says. "I swear I put this somewhere he wouldn't find it..."

"Never mind that. Open that one," I say, pointing to the one that says CAMDEN in Chase's handwriting. Now he look sick, too.

He sits up and scoots to the edge of the bed.

His eyes scan the words quickly. It's only half a page long.

"Shit!" He yells, slamming his fist onto the mattress. The letter falls from his hands to the ground, and I can barely focus as I bend down to pick it up.

And the world is lifeless again, as I begin to read the words out loud.

"I'm writing you this letter because I want you to be happy. You have given me a lot in a short period of time. It's been more than just a new place to sleep and a new school. Maybe I don't know much about relationships and all that...haven't had good examples...but living with you and the three of us hanging out...well, it's the coolest thing I've ever done," I pause as a few tears fall onto the page. "You and Harper love each other, but you've been fighting a lot, and I know why. I'm in the way. I'm ruining everything for you. I heard what she said to you. I was listening the whole time. I remind her of her dead kid, and as long as I'm around, she won't be happy. She says she loves me and that's why I can't do this anymore. "I don't want to hurt her anymore."

He's wrong. He's so wrong.

My heart breaks. My eyes blur, but I blink away the tears. I have to continue. "Mom wrote me a letter. I know you didn't want me to see it, but I did. I found it. I don't believe the things she said, but I'm her kid anyway. Harper lost her kid and that sucks. Now I get it. Even a screwed up mom like mine doesn't deserve to lose me. I'm all she has left. Without me, she might finally lose it. I have to go home,"

My voice breaks into a million tiny pieces when I see Camden's face in his hands.

"I have to see what she wants, and I have to see what my Dad wants. Maybe I'll try to visit him or something. I know he's been calling. I know what I said about being afraid...but Harper's story changes everything. She makes me want to be a good son, even if they aren't good parents. It doesn't mean I support them. It doesn't mean I'm going to start doing drugs or anything like that. I'm not stupid. I know who they are. I have to accept who I am now...I'm their kid and I have to just deal. I can't stick around and use you anymore. It's not right. It's not fair to you guys..."

"I'm not on a trip with Natalie's family. You weren't talking to her Dad on the phone...you were talking to her older brother. He lied for me. She picked me up and brought me to the bus station, but I'm probably long gone by now. I figured you'd find the letter soon enough. I'm sorry I lied, but you'd never let me go on my own if I was honest. I'm not leaving because you did a shitty job. You did a really good job...so good of a job that I started wishing you were my Dad. And Harper... I can't even say it. Just tell her I love her and she's done more for me than my own mother ever has. Thanks for everything. I hope now that I'm gone Harper can start to focus on you instead of me and you guys can be happy and all that. We'll see each other again. I hope you understand, but I know you probably don't. I know you'll come after me, but please don't. You've done enough.

Thanks for everything.

Go Dodgers!

I love you guys,

Chase

I'm sobbing. I look up from the letter, expecting to see anger in Camden's eyes, but instead, I see tears. He's shocked and helpless. He hasn't said a thing.

This is the calm before the storm. Soon he'll be yelling and screaming and panicked. He slides onto the floor, his back pressing against the bed and his hands crash into his hands. I fall to my knees beside him, pulling his head into my chest as he cries.

I've never seen him cry this way.

We have to pull ourselves together, but I can barely think straight.

"Camden..." I manage, but he just shakes his head. "Camden. We have to call the police!" I say. They won't take the claim from me. "You have to call the police."

He nods, looking up into my eyes for a second before he wipes his eyes and pulls out his phone.

My heart pounds. This feels too familiar.

Chase isn't dead, but he's gone. He's alone. He could be anywhere, and he's heading into danger. We love him and we lost him.

It's happening all over again.