All At Once (Completed) - Finding You Book 1

Camden

"No! No, oh my GOD!" Harper screams.

My eyes shoot open as she thrashes back and forth in my arms. My eyes are dry; we're still on the beach.

"No! You can't be...look at me! Open your eyes!," she's sobbing, but it's clear she's not awake.

"Cade...CADE!" Tears stream down her frantic face. She hasn't opened her eyes since last night, but I can imagine the terror I'll see in them when she finally does.

Fear rises in my chest and my arms tighten around her, but she pushes against me, desperate to escape something.

"Harper..." I say loudly, frowning when she doesn't hear me. Her shakes back and forth as she pounds her fists into my chest. She's fighting something and she needs my help, but I don't want to scare her.

I press my lips against her hair and gently rock her. I've seen a lot of sides of Harper, but I've never seen her this way; I've got a feeling I know exactly what she's dreaming about.

"Harp. You're dreaming," I say gently in her ear. "You're fine. You're asleep. Just wake up," I whisper. I hope somehow she'll know it's me and relax. I'll do anything to make her crying stop.

I stroke her hair again softly, cringing as she pushes against me again. "You're okay..." I say again, an brush the back of my hand down her cheek. Her eyes shoot open and she gasps, pulling out of my arms as if she doesn't know who I am. I immediately feel empty without her in my arms.

I brush the sand out of my thick hair and reach out to pull her sweat soaked strands away from the corner of her mouth. The rush of the ocean passes through our ears as it had the night before, but there's nothing peaceful about it this time around.

I was right; her eyes are red and panicked. She hasn't said a word since she woke up, but she doesn't have to for me to know she's wrecked. I've seen her cry before; little streams of confusion had rushed down her cheeks when I'd been a little too sweet or a little too stupid. But hI've never seen her look so empty. Her eyes are glassy, bottomless wells. Her tears flow with no sign of stopping.

My unpreparedness with Chase has nothing on this. She's staring at me, wordlessly unraveling. She's begging me to read her mind. It's like she needs me to understand the things she just can't bring herself to say. My ears are hot and my throat aches. There are telltale signs I'm about to cry.

Seeing her this way and not being able to help, not being able to fully understand, is killing me.

I crawl over to her on my knees.

Her thrashing felt drawn out and painful, and I'm not sure how long it been going on before I woke up. I hadn't taken the time to register her words, but they come back to me slowly. She screamed a name.

Cade.

She's never said that name before. She's never uttered the name of her ex-boyfriend. She said she'd loved him and they'd broken up...but this screaming did not come from an ex-girlfriend. Harper seems deeply scarred and broken. She said everything happened eleven years ago, but her cries sounded fresh and new.

A pang of jealousy hits me and I realize I'm selfish. The man she's crying about is dead, and she's completely heartbroken over it.

I felt powerless at first, but now I'm just angry. How could someone make someone as gentle and good as Harper feel like that? He hurt her somehow. There's more to it than just a breakup between teenagers. She must really have loved him if he's still haunting her after so many years.

I've never felt an absolute need to protect someone like I do with her. It's been slowly creeping up on me, but it's been easy to ignore until this morning. I've avoided the "L" word for so long because I didn't want to know what it felt like to be so powerless. I barely know her; it can't be love. It wouldn't happen so fast and so easily...not after I spent a lifetime preventing it. But if it isn't love, it's in the same realm. The lines are blurred when it comes to her. This pain is good; I don't want to lose it.