!warning! sensitive content ahead.
for dazaikinks
=
"it hurts you bastard! it hurts so fucking much!" you sob into your hands, you had been like this for months, you hated yourself for being like this, you really were ready to die.
"D-Dazai-san.. I like you." you looked into his eyes while holding his hands, hoping he would return your confession.
the brunette clicks his tongue, slowly lets go of your hands and frowns. he speaks up, to his dismay. "I appreciate it (name), but I sadly cannot return your feelings, for I only see you as my sister."
those words hurt so much, it hurt a lot.
you were drowning, drowning in the pain he has caused you, which had turned into the pain you've been causing yourself lately.
from one overdose to another, from one suicide attempt to another; you wanted the pain to end, it was like a bee sting that never healed, and would never heal, but leave it's scar..
just like his love.
"(N-Name)! Don't do it I'm begging you!"
the brunette yells loudly, trying to prevent you from jumping off the balcony of your dorm.
you continued to cry, the tears fell from your cheeks down to the ground.
Dazai was with the big crowd of people watching what was going on.
nothing but a silly girl trying to kill herself.
"You caused me all of this pain! I loved you! I can't help but love you Dazai! even though I try not to! I don't want this! I never wanted this! all I ever wanted was to be loved!" you yell from the distance.
some people were even taking out their cellphones to record the event, how could someone be so sick?
by now, tears of melancholy were running down Dazai's cheeks like a waterfall, it didn't stop, as you stepped forward, Dazai screamed out, reaching out for you even though he could not possibly hold your hand from now on.
"I love you.." you whispered to yourself, finally.. the pain was gone.
vision gone black, everything gone black, nothing existed anymore for you.
the screams coming from the tall detective caused his voice cords to hurt, now he was was the one feeling all of what you felt.
he fell on the ground, pulled on his dark brown locks, and continuously sobbed into his shaking hands, he was completely miserable.
"you never said I love you back.. but it didn't matter anymore."
"you didn't exist anymore for me."
.
sayonara hoes
