Drowning (editing) (complete)

What the hell just happend..

*Jaxon's Pov*

I still have not come to terms with what I've seen what I have heard.. nothing makes since anymore have I always been..... This way? Did something provoke it? is in a part of my families history? I need to know more...

These thoughts have been firing through my head all day its making me sick I walk to my window and talon comes soring through it landing on my bed post and vodka slithered in curling around me.

Sighing I walk to talon stroking his feathers softly and I place vodka down softly and they watch me at I stand silently staring off in to my own mind suddenly my eyes start to sting again and an over powering sick feeling hits me and I run to the bathroom heaving in to the toilet over and over.

Once it stops I stand up leaning over the sink splashing water on my face and I glance up at my reflection to see my eye flashing uncontrollably back and forth between my green eyes and the ones I saw earlier today gasping I stand up straight staring at my eyes in shock 'what the hell is happening to me?' I whisper fearfully.

All of the sudden I hear a faint knock on my door and someone opens it and inters I quickly close my bathroom door and I smell Kato's sent so I know that its him even before he speaks.

"Jax?" he says sounding confused.

'yeah?' I say but my voice comes out quiet and horse, clearing my throat I try again "yeah?"

"What's going on? is everything okay?" he asks with deep concern.

"Kato, its just there is a lot happening right now and I don't know what i'm doing." I gush out feeling its needless to lie.

He sighs, "okay, but just know what ever is happening and what ever is going on that I'm here," I hear his voice getting distant "okay Jaxon." he finishes and leaves closing the door.

I look to the mirror to see that it has yet to stop. I open the door and lay in bed and call the only one i could possibly get a family history from...My GiGi.

A few rings later she answers "jaxon!" she says enthusiastically bringing a small smile to my face "Hi GiGi, i need to ask you so questions and i would be quiet grateful if you answered honestly." i speak softly.

"im listening dear." she says gently.

"i need to know about our families past...do we have any myths or strange stories in our family?" i ask slowly and shaky.

I hear her sigh tiredly through the phone "I was hoping this could be ignored...That it would not come up again." she says sounding sad and exhausted.

"GiGi what are you talking about? GiGi are you keeping something from me?" i ask fearfully.

"just listen closely okay... decades ago there was this roomer of a light and dark spirit called spiritus mali in lucem-" i cut her off whispering 'evil spirit of light' "yes that is what it means, i didn't know you knew Latin, anyway long ago this spirit was said to be more powerful then all of the packs and clans of the world this spirit was said to hold the name of the Blackrose family this was told carful by a prophecy not to be shared but little did they know someone was listening in and spread the word as well as the fear and then a massacre begun killing every known wolf with the name Blackrose put what the ease dropper did not stick around to hear was that this spirit was only half wolf and you could not smell nor since it no mater how hard you tried the family of this spirit kept her secret and safe though she hated herself more then anyone knew not aloud to leave her new prison not aloud to speak to anyone she would let surges of power out when she was angry she would be in pain and she was sick but no one knew why they moved her in to the basement hoping that it would be safer for her down there they even got a trust worthy guard to look after her while they searched for answers, one day the guard came down to check on her and she attacked the guard, but stopped immediately when she saw the guards face and felt the socks curse through her body the body guard was a women they both whispered in unison the same word "mate" they knew from just one touch that they where going to be together for a life time but they also new that they couldn't be together if she was locked up so they ran as far and fast as possible, they mated right away somehow they where able to get pregnant because of the sprit girl they where hunted and on the move constantly her mate Avara was carrying there baby and the spirit girl Joan was helping her love birth there baby when Joan felt it they where all coming for her all of them and Joan held there baby in her hands with tears building in her eyes "Avara i have to go you stay and protect our baby live for ever and keep her safe...i will see you when it is time. give her the name of you brother." Joan said kissing there baby sofly and then kissing her love passionately tears said to be like diamond's never ending like a beautiful river down her face dropping on to her daughter and her mate said to make them live for ever Joan met the packs and clans half way tears still flowing pain coursing through her body she drops to her knees and a fire of many colors flash in her eyes until her body bursts in to light many drop dead including her and Avara runs for years she ran her daughter turned six and Avara knew she could no longer kept running like this it was no life for such a beautiful soul she found a teen age girl on her own homeless yet strong she deemed the girl perfect for a protector of her beloved child the girl refused but Avara pleaded over and over so the girl gave in took the child Avara then placed a hand on the girls head showing the whole story to her and Avara disappeared but did not fully leave her baby as the little girl cried for her day and night. Avara was right this girl was perfect she had raised the girl as her own became married and passed her knowledge on to her husband and his mother." GiGi finishes sounding in pain and on the verge of tears.